Missing
by Bookbinder4
Summary: A reworking of an old story where Christian struggles to navigate the world without Ana.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an old story that is still available to read on FanFiction but I have tried to edit and correct mistakes in this version. Some parts will be altered slightly and other parts deleted but the story will remain the same. I hope you enjoy this new addition but if you have read the story before I understand that you might not be interested in reading any further.**

Missed - Chapter 1

 _I write in the hope that someday you will read these words and know that you are deeply loved. From the second you were revealed to me I was instantly and completely devoted to you. When I heard your heartbeat for the first time I cried and when I felt my hand flutter over your mothers stomach, I just couldn't wait to meet you. But I missed meeting you, I wasn't there for you when I should have been and I'm so sorry. I missed your firsts and I missed your seconds and I'll always regret that. I can only hope for you now and I do, often. I hope that you are here in the world and are happy in it. I hope you are well and so much of my time I just hope that you know of me and know how much you are loved. Your mother told me once how grateful she was for you and your brother Teddy and how honoured she felt to be your mother and I need you to know that I feel the same way. I love you sweetheart always and maybe one day I can tell you how proud I am to be your Daddy._

"Daddy," Teddy screeches as I finish my letter and add it to the many others I have written over the years. "I'm in the study," I shout back, locking the drawer that holds my precious correspondence.

Within seconds he bounds into the room with rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes, Ana's eyes. "Daddy, I've been calling all over the house, Gail's had dinner ready for ages and I'm starving," he explains dramatically. "Okay buddy lets go, I can't have my boy wasting away." Ted grabs my hand and marches us off towards the kitchen chatting all the way.

"There you are and I see you've found the boss," says Gail with a smile as she dishes up dinner. We all eat together in companionable silence, enjoying our meal and watching over Teddy fondly. I can't believe he's going to be five next week, I still think of him as my baby boy. Five years old and three years without his mother, three years lost to her, gone forever.

My mind drifts back to that moment I think about so frequently, I wake with that day imprinted forever in my mind. A beautiful morning in early spring. I kissed her lips so softly as she wished me a pleasant day. Teddy was happily bouncing in her arms and his laughter was so contagious we couldn't help but join in.

I kissed Teddy goodbye and then stooped down to kiss Ana's belly, I told them to be good for Mommy. Then I kissed Ana once more and told her that I loved her, she said she loved me too and then I left for work.

When I returned home later that day she was gone and I haven't seen her since. Teddy cried for her for over a week and grew hoarse calling out for her. Now he doesn't even remember her, it's gone but I can't ever forget.

Once I had read the three stories he picked out, Teddy falls asleep and I wander back to my bedroom, our bedroom. I glance at the pictures that are scattered throughout and smile to myself as my baby boy smiles back. My favourite photos are the ones where we are all together as a family should be. Me, Ana and Teddy with happy smiling faces, beautiful and haunting at the same time.

She was only going to be gone for ten minutes, fifteen at the most but she never returned. Gail told me she popped out for a quick errand when I returned that night, we thought she had just been delayed so I called her cell. It rang and rang but she didn't pick up and then I started to get an uneasy feeling. I called Taylor and asked who had left with Ana. He told me the new guy Garrett had accompanied her and I tried to contact him too.

When he didn't answer I cursed at Taylor and asked why Sawyer hadn't gone too, then remembered his father was sick and he was on leave. I cursed a lot more as the night progressed and Ana failed to make an appearance. I panicked and called the police and eventually they discovered her car abandoned in the centre of Seattle.

For months we searched for her and Garrett, I travelled to the far corners of the globe to find her but somehow I failed every time. I'd follow a lead like a man possessed, I hired private detectives and even involved the FBI. For weeks at a time I would go without sleep and very little food trying to find out something, anything. I was so lost without her that even simple things became almost impossible tasks.

Finally my mother helped me to re-enter the world and over time I was able to be a father again to my son. I'm not the man I was with Ana and I know I'll never be that man again. He died the instant the police found her car in that alleyway, so far from our home. He vanished before my eyes and I have a lot of regret that Teddy will never know the man I was with his mother. I still have bad days, especially when I see Teddy achieve something and know that Ana has missed it. She's missed so much, we all have, I've missed my wife and baby daughter and Teddy's missed that which it most precious, a mothers love.

I often find myself staring at the last photo that was taken of my family, just weeks before Ana vanished. I'm holding Teddy in my arms and he's reaching down to Ana, she's smiling and holding tight to his tiny hand. Just barely you can make out the tiny bulge of my baby girl as Ana reaches up for Teddy. Ana was four months pregnant and had only recently starting to show, I was so excited I could hardly wait when we found out we were having a baby girl. I think a lot about our baby, I imagine an angelic face and the perfect features of her mother. I can sometimes see the dark brown curls and sparkling blue eyes, I picture holding her and bouncing her on my knee. But mostly I find myself just hoping she is here in the world and happy and safe with my Ana.

 _My dearest little girl, your brother celebrated his birthday today. I still can't believe how old he is getting and you too. When I imagine you I always think of a baby in a soft pink baby grow and holding the teddy bear Ana made for you. But you are two and a half years old and that teddy bear still sits in your nursery where Ana lovingly placed it in your cot, all those years ago._

 _Teddy really enjoyed his special day and entertained us all with his exuberant mood. Your Uncle Elliot and Auntie Kate came along to help Teddy celebrate and your cousin Ava made us all laugh when she reluctantly gave Teddy her gift._ _Your cousin has just recently had her own birthday, she was three years old and I know you both would have been the best of friends._

 _Your Auntie Kate is going to have another baby soon and I know the whole family can't wait for her arrival. Yes it's another girl and I'm happy for my brother and Kate but I can't help but be a little jealous. Jealous because of all the things they will get to experience with their little girl that I may never experience with you._ _I'm sorry you missed your big brothers birthday but we took a lot of photographs and Uncle Elliot made a movie of the day that one day I hope to watch with you._

 _Auntie Mia and Uncle Ethan sadly missed Teddy's birthday party, they just couldn't get back in time for the big day. They have been travelling for almost a year now and are really enjoying themselves. We talk over the phone and Teddy and me Skype with them once a month if they are able. When they return Teddy is going to be spoilt rotten by all the things they have bought for him._

 _Grandma and Grandpa send their love, they were at Teddy's party and or course your Grandpa Ray told me to tell you he loves you very much. I hope you are just as happy as your big brother and I know he would love to know you and love you just as he loves his little cousin Ava._ _I love you sweetheart and I always will, all my love from Daddy._

I carefully fold the letter and seal it in an envelope then add it to the vast collection that I keep in my desk drawer. There must be hundreds by now, all hand written and tied together with the pink ribbons I bought for my daughter when we found out we were having a little girl.

Teddy is fast asleep in his bedroom exhausted by his busy day where he was lavished with everyone's undivided attention. I only wish Ana could have been present and cheered along as we sung happy birthday to him. Ray is sleeping across the hall equally exhausted in the bedroom Teddy dubs Poppy's room as it kind of is.

After Ana's disappearance Ray's health really deteriorated, he stopped eating and fell into the same downward spiral as me. When I finally came to my senses for the sake of Teddy I realised Ray was in a really bad way so I moved him into our house.

He protested at first but eventually consented and now with Teddy's help he has really improved. He has his bad days just like me but together we have helped each other to get though each and every day.

Carla though has practically disappeared almost as completely as Ana. She occasionally writes to Teddy but never remembers to call him on the telephone and this year she's even forgotten his Birthday. At least I can rely on my own parents and I do often, I couldn't have made it thorough these last three years without them.

They are very special people and mean the world to me. My Mom moved in during the early days of Ana's disappearance, but eventually stepped back when I started to take a more active role in Teddy's life.

I regret those months in the beginning, when I could barley make it out of bed, but I did the best I could. I've think I've made it up to him since and I know he forgives me because he loves me so much. I love him so much it almost hurts, he is my whole world and I'm so glad I was able to come back to him.

 _Teddy_

 _I'm so sorry sweetheart that I missed your Birthday today, I hope you had a wonderful time. I bet your Daddy threw you a big party with all your friends and I wish I could have been there to see your smiling face. I still can't believe you are five years old, you are getting to be such a big boy. I hope you are enjoying school and making lots of new friends. I wanted to be with you so much Teddy and I don't blame you one bit if you are mad at me for not being there. I love you so much Teddy and I hope to see you soon. All my love Grandma Carla. xxx_

I scowl as I read the short note folded inside the belated 5th Birthday card that was just delivered. I have a good mind to call Carla and tell her to leave Teddy alone if she can't be bothered to turn up for his birthday celebration. I can't of course because her phone line has been down for almost three years now. I was visited by Bob a few months after Ana's disappearance and he told me that Carla had left him. Apparently the loss of Ana was too much for her and she fled, Bob moved out of the home they shared later that year and I haven't seen either of them since.

I get some correspondence from Carla now and then and a Christmas card from Bob once a year but they never call. I slip the letter inside my shirt pocket and stand the card amongst the others on the mantelpiece. I won't read it to Teddy it will only confuse him, he doesn't even remember his Grandma Carla.

Strangely though I can't seem to throw it away so I take it to my study and store it with the others she has written over the years. Maybe when he's older he will want to read them but not now, not yet. I pause to briefly study the letters and marvel for a moment at the likeness they share with Ana's own handwriting, but I guess mothers and daughters share a lot of similarities with one another.

I hear footfall out in the hall and look up from my desk to see Gail pausing at the threshold. "Mr Grey a women is at the gate asking to see you," she explains. "Who, I don't have any appointments today."

"She wouldn't give a name apparently, Ryan's at the gate and when he tried to send her away she became quite belligerent."

"Thank you Mrs Taylor, I'll call Ryan and see what's going on." I'm through with Ryan straight away and ask him what's happening. I can see the woman's face on one of the security feeds via my laptop and freeze suddenly as she looks towards the camera. For a split second I think I'm looking at Ana but reality sets in and I realise it's just a women with dark brown hair and blues eyes but nothing else.

She looks almost wild as she shouts at Ryan over the phone and pleads to talk to me. Finally I allow Ryan to pass her the phone and we begin to converse with one another.

"Mr Grey, I need to talk to you," she stutters.

"Then talk and talk quickly before I have my staff escort you from my property."

"In person, we need to talk in person please," she demands.

I sigh my patience running thin as I drag my fingers through my hair. "I don't see people without an appointment and I never see anyone at my home," I reply coolly.

"It's about Ana, please I know about your wife," she shouts and I freeze for a second time. "You don't know anything about my wife," I snap back. "Stop wasting my time and leave this area before I call the police."

I can't believe someone has the audacity to bring up my wife and lay claim to her whereabouts. People have been looking for Ana for years and suddenly this women with no obvious merit dares to tell me she knows about my wife.

I stare at her seething as I watch her pull something from her pocket, It's hard to make out on the monitor but it looks like a ring. I watch Ryan take it from her and position it closer to the camera. I stare transfixed at the small silver ring, it's her ring, our ring together, it's Ana's wedding band.


	2. Chapter 2

Missed - Chapter 2

I shakily ask Ryan to keep hold of the woman then race outside to confront her. As soon as I see her in the flesh I begin an angry tirade, shouting out obscenities as I pull the ring from her grasp. "Where did you get this, who gave this to you," I chant over and over. The woman blanches in my presence but stands firm her eyes blazing in the bright sunshine.

"Call the police and get Taylor," I urgently shout at Ryan.

"No please, I can help you, I've seen your wife. She gave me the ring to give to you, please I promise," she begs. I look up as Taylor dashes towards us with his hand on his holster. He stops dead when he sees the panicked woman and drops his hand to his side.

"What's going on Mr Grey," he asks cautiously.

"This woman says she knows Ana, she had her wedding ring. Ryan's calling the police," I answer.

"Do you think she's hurt Mrs Grey," he asks softly.

"No I wouldn't, I couldn't," she shouts drowning out Taylor.

"My name was Garrett, Sarah Garrett. It's Gilmore now but Garrett was my married name," she stutters.

Garrett, the name is instantly familiar to me and then I remember why. David Garrett the last person who was seen with Ana and the one I believe took her away from me.

"You are married to David Garrett," Taylor repeats as he puts two and two together.

"I was, I'm not anymore, we divorced shortly after I found out about his criminal activities. He was sent to prison where he came across a man named Stephen Morton."

I pale at the mention of his name, Stephen Morton the one person I never linked to Ana's disappearance. As far as I was aware he was a drifter, unpleasant in Ana's memory but not dangerous. Had Ana kept something from me, was his memory more than just unpleasant to her. She never talked about him and if she ever did slip he was always 'husband number three' to her. I should have noticed the signs, I should have asked her more questions.

"Why was Morton in prison," I ask, suddenly desperate for more information.

"Assault and battery, I thought you knew that. It was Ana's mother that sent him away."

I'm shocked by her candour and a little incredulous, it was ridiculous, I would know. Ana would have told me and even then Welch would have found it out.

"I don't believe you, I don't believe any of this, Ana would have told me."

"Look I don't know why she didn't tell you, all I know is that Stephen Morton is a violent man. He attacked your wife's mother more than once and was serving time for his crimes when my ex-husband met him."

I hold my breath as I allow what she said to sink in, I swallow then ask the one question I needed to know the most.

"Does Morton have Ana," I softly whisper.

"Yes," she answers with a certainly that makes me shiver.

I stagger back at her words then Taylor reaches for my arm to keep me upright. He glances briefly in my direction then beckons me back towards the house. "Keep her here," he requested of Ryan as he walked away.

I follow him blindly, only slightly aware of my surroundings. The next minute Taylor sits me down on the leather sofa in my study and hands me a very large scotch.

"Do you believe her," I ask, breaking the sudden silence.

"I do, I course it will need to be verified. But I certainly don't think she's making it up. We need a full account though and I really don't think you should be present sir."

"No, I need to hear what she has to say," I demand.

"Sir, Mr Grey, Christian, her story may not have a happy ending. I need to be with her when she makes a formal statement but you don't, please. The police are on their way and together we will get to the bottom of this."

I stare at Taylor unsure of what to do. I really want to know everything but Taylor's right if we found out something bad I know I would loose it.

Eventually I consent for Taylor and Ryan to question the woman without me. I watch as they walk her towards the security office and tip back the scotch, downing it in one.

I pour myself another glass, then another and slowly medicate myself into a stupor. When I awake I find myself in my darkened study, it's pitch black outside and eerily silent. I notice several police cars parked beside the security office, but I can't make out any people. I stumble out into the hall and walk towards the kitchen, wondering where everyone is. I find Gail stacking the dish washer, her face grim but determined. "Hi," I mutter softly.

She jumps in surprise and I quickly apologise for scaring her. "Mr Grey, can I get you anything," she asks kindly.

"No thanks, any word from Taylor."

"Not yet, the police have been here for a few hours now and I've heard nothing from anyone. I called to see if they needed anything but the phone has been disconnected."

I can't help but anxiously pace as Gail fills me in on what's been happening. I must have been sleeping for sometime, or maybe I just passed out from too much liquor.

I inquire about Teddy and Gail tells me he went to bed a little over an hour ago. I'm sorry I missed saying goodnight but under the circumstances I think he's better off without me tonight. I continue to pace, occasionally walking to the window and gazing outside. When my patience finally starts to wane I hear the back door open and slowly Taylor walks inside. He looks like he's in shock, he's pale and rather sweaty. Gail walks towards him and wraps her arms around his waist. Taylor mutters something I can't quite hear, then Gail kisses his cheek and walks away.

"I'll be upstairs," she says softly then quietly ascends the stairs. I watch her leave in a trance and jump when Taylor finally addresses me.

"Mr Grey, maybe we should talk in your study." I nod in agreement, not wanting Teddy to hear me if the news is bad. I return to the sofa and Taylor sits beside me. He pauses briefly then reads from a statement made my Sarah Gilmore to the police and my staff.

 **Sarah Gilmore's statement to the police.**

 _My husband and I had been trying to have a baby for years. I couldn't conceive so we started IVF, when it failed we tried again but we were never successful. I finally couldn't go through with it anymore, we were devastated but I realised it was never going to happen._

 _About the same time we stopped the IVF my husband was arrested. I was convinced they had the wrong man, David had always been such a law abiding person. Then it came out that he had been committing credit card fraud. He was cloning cards of the people he worked with and withdrawing large amounts of their money. He was only found about because he was caught by one of the companies security cameras._

 _He told me he had done it to pay for the IVF treatments, he couldn't stop crying when he told me. At first I visited him in prison but over the months I lost my trust in him and eventually we separated. I still visited him occasionally and when he was finally released I helped him get his own apartment._

 _Then one night he called me out of the blue and said his friend was having a baby and wanted to give it up for adoption. He told me she wanted him to have her baby, but David said he could never raise a baby alone, so he told her about me._

 _Strangely I believed everything he told me, he gave me an address and even gave me directions. When I arrived I found a young woman in labour and another woman holding her hand and helping her with her breathing. David was watching at the back of the room and another man was watching TV apparently oblivious to what was going on._

 _Once the baby was delivered the man watching TV snatched it from the mother and handed it over to me. He told me to get out and forget about what I had witnessed then David moved over to walk out with me._

 _All hell broke loose then, the mother was hysterical calling me back and reaching out for her baby. The other woman tried to take the baby back but was pulled out of the way by that other man. They started to fight and David tried to move me towards the door. I couldn't go, the women were screaming and crying, the baby was crying and eventually I was crying too._

 _Then the older of the two woman was hit hard on the head by that other man and she stopped moving, the younger woman stopped screaming and there was silence._

 _When we found out she was dead the younger woman collapsed and I started to panic. I gave the baby to David and tried to escape through the front door. I was stopped by the other man and tied up, he was livid and kept screaming at David even though he hadn't done anything._

 _They both took the older woman away, leaving me with the baby and her mother. I cried along with the baby but the younger woman never woke up._

 _When they returned they were both covered in mud, the other man left to shower and David sat down next to me. He told me he made a mistake and explained he had only helped kidnap the women for my sake. He wanted me to have a baby and he thought he had found a way to make it happen._

 _I felt sick to my stomach at his words, I just couldn't believe what he had involved me in, then broke the news to me that I couldn't leave, I knew too much._

 _Over the following weeks of my captivity I grew closer to the young woman and learned who she was. I tried to help Ana through her grief but we were both so shell shocked at the time._

 _The only thing that kept her going was her baby girl, who she named Olivia Grace for her mother and her husband. Ana told me her mother's name was Carla but her Grandmother was called Olivia and she knew is would have meant a lot to her mother to name her daughter Olivia._

 _Sweet Olivia was a precious baby and she rarely cried when Ana was near. I was held with them for just over two years and during that time Olivia grew so much. We were locked in the basement for most of that time, poor Olivia never saw the sunshine._

 _David told me the other man was named Stephen Morton and to be careful when I was around him. I didn't see a lot of Morton but he would occasionally he would appear and take Ana away. I would look after Olivia in her absence but Olivia missed her mother and would often cry. When Ana returned I would ask her what Morton had done to her and she would cry and take back her baby and rock her until they both stopped crying._

 _Then one night David came to me and told me we were leaving, I begged him to take Ana with us but he wouldn't dare. When I refused to go he took me my force and dragged me out of the house. I screamed for Ana and she screamed for me, then Morton appeared and hit David in the face._

 _David and Morton fought and I tried to get back to Ana, but Morton pushed me to the ground and my head bounced sharply on the floor. I don't remember blacking out but when I woke I was in a hospital bed. David left me a note saying he had gone back for Ana but he never returned._

 _I told the police everything but when we found the house it was empty. I even told them about the body buried in the woods but they never found her. I was in a small rural town and the police had never heard of Christian Grey let alone his wife Ana. I was lost and no one would help me, I think they thought I was making it all up._

 _When I was able I travelled to Seattle, thinking I could tell my story to Ana's husband._

 _I only wish someone had believed me at the time, it's been almost six months since I last saw Ana and Olivia. I was in the hospital for a few months and it was hard travelling to Seattle without any money._

 _I did try to call the police in Seattle but they were not very forthcoming, I guess they got a lot of hoaxes due to Mr. Greys notoriety._

 _I just want Mr Grey to know that Ana spoke of him often and never stopped believing that she would see him again soon._

Taylor folds over the piece of paper containing Ms Gilmore's statement and looks up at me. I stare at him in disbelief, her story sounds insane but somehow I believe every word. "How and we going to find them?" I ask defeated, slowly sinking to the ground. I can't stop thinking about Ana and my little girl trapped in the darkness, has my baby ever seen the sunshine.

Up until this moment I'd hoped Ana had simply left me but now I know the truth and it's terrifying. She was taken from me my force and made to live through unknown horrors. I may never find her and if my some miracle I do what will I find.

I can feel Taylor kneel down beside me and gently pat my back, but I can't look up at him. I can't look at him at the moment in fact I blame him completely for everything that's happened. He should have done a better background check on Garrett, he should of tried harder to find her, he should of kept her safe. Hell I would fire him on the spot if I didn't need him so much.


	3. Chapter 3

Missed - Chapter 3

The sun is just rising as Taylor pulls himself to his feet, he stumbles towards the liquor cabinet and pours water into two brandy glasses. I watch him take a sip then slowly walk back towards me.

With great effort I rise and take the other glass he offers me, my legs don't feel like my own as I stagger back to my chair.

"What's going to happen now," I suddenly ask causing Taylor to jerk up in surprise.

"We look into her story, we find the location Ana was being held. We ask questions and we keep moving forward sir."

I nod my head then start to plan in my mind what we do next. We need to leave and find where Ana was being held. We need to bring Ms Gilmore with us and I need to find someone to watch my son.

Seven hours later we are about to land in Arkansas, Taylor, Ryan, Welch and Ms Gilmore are with me on board. Sawyer and Reynolds remained in Seattle to watch over the rest of my family.

Ray and Gail are looking after Teddy with my parents available for back up just in case. I packed a suitcase as soon as I was able and left Teddy on the promise that I would be back soon.

As far as anyone back home know I am on a business trip, I just couldn't tell anyone the truth. I know the outlook is bleak and I'm not willing to raise false hope in anyone else.

Once we land we set off on a six hour car ride in a rented black SVU. We're heading for the township where Ms Gilmore first encountered the police, hoping to talk with them and find the house Ana was held captive.

Hours later after a fruitless discussion with the local police Ms Gilmore leads us to an abandoned house on the outskirts of town. I gaze at the building in stunned silence, this is where my wife was held for all this time. The place where my baby daughter was born, it's windows are boarded up and the screen door is hanging from its hinges.

I jump when I hear Taylor kick open the door, he looks inside cautiously then slowly steps inside with Ryan. After a few seconds they both return and tell us the place is secure, then Ms Gilmore and I silently join them leaving Welch outside.

Inside it's dark and dank, the paper is peeling off the walls and the furniture is sparse and threadbare. While Taylor and Ryan search for clues I follow Ms Gilmore towards the basement. Slowly we walk together down the staircase my hands shaking as I examine the surroundings. Strangely it's more inviting here than the rest of the house, brighter somehow and the walls are literally covered with pictures.

Crayon scribbles of varying colours and watercolours painted by a more accomplished artist. I walk over to one of the pictures and trace my finger across the scribbles. "My baby girl," I utter reverently as I finally see the evidence of my daughter. "Olivia," says Ms Gilmore. "All the crayon drawings are by her, she loved to draw and Ana would pin up everyone with pride."

"Are the watercolours your work," I inquire softly not wanting to break the peace of this unexpected place. "No I don't have a creative bone in my body, they're all Ana's work," she answers.

I pause to look a little closer at the watercolours, amazed by the detail and skill behind them. All these years and I didn't even know Ana could paint and now here is the evidence. I wouldn't believe it were true if the man in so many of the paintings didn't resemble me so perfectly.

I touch Ana's artwork as reverently as I touched my daughters, amazed that she was once here. Carefully I unpin all the pictures and neatly stack them in a pile as Ms Gilmore looks on. Soon she starts to help me telling me roughly when each one was created. Finally she points to one in the corner, "Ana was painting that one just before I left," she explains. I walk over and start to remove it, then notice something written on the backside. A surge of excitement runs though me at the discovery then I race to read what's written in Ana's neat handwriting.

 _Sarah_

 _I hope you are safe, I hope I see you again but mostly I hope you are free._

 _I miss you so much Sarah, Olivia asks about you everyday. I tell her you had to go away and she asks why you didn't take us with you. I said you couldn't because Stephen wouldn't let you and she cried. I'm holding her in my arms right now and she's fast asleep and dreaming, happy dreams I hope._

 _If you can remember to find my husband and tell him how much I love him. Tell him I think about him everyday and dream about constantly. I've told Olivia all about him and I know she can't wait to meet him, when this life is over._

 _Tell Christian to look after Teddy and tell him that I never wanted to leave him, not ever. Please survive this Sarah, for me and Livie._

 _All my love_

 _Ana._

I stare at the words on the page until they blur into nothing. Oh God why does this sound like Ana is saying goodbye. Did she loose hope when Sarah left, did she know something bad was about to happen. Oh Ana please don't give up, not when we're so close to finding you.

I pick through the remaining pictures searching for any other messages Ana has left, but I don't find anything else. I watch Ms Gilmore look fleetingly around then wipe a tear from her eye, I make no comment as I pick up the remaining pictures.

Back in the car I'm quiet as Taylor and Ryan discuss what they have found inside the house. Taylor shows me some receipts he found in the trash and it hits me what little we have to go on. As we drive back to our hotel I watch Welch search for anything new on his laptop.

We're looking closely into Stephen Morton's past and hoping we will find something useful there. I've also hired a search team and involved the local police in trying to locate Carla's body. I know we may never discover her whereabouts but I have to keep looking, Ana would want me too.

Three days later while still in Arkansas, I receive a call from the guy in charge of the search party. He informs me they've found a body buried in the nearby woods and that it appears to be female. Taylor and I drive off immediately with the coordinates, understanding that I may have to identify the body.

Once we arrive I can see an ambulance parked at the edge of a densely wooded area surrounded by several police cars and other trucks. I dash from the car and race blindly into the woods, Taylor running close behind.

Almost immediately I notice a large gathering of people and a large white tent erected at an odd angle amongst the tree line. I slow my pace as I glance at the structure and a strange foreboding envelopes me.

Several state troupers converge on me and Taylor and try to get us to move away. I try to explain who I am but I find myself overcome by the sights and sounds.

I hear Taylor explain our presence and after someone checks us out we are finally ushered towards the group of people. Several look up as we pass and bow their heads sympathetically, I avert my gaze not wanting them to see the pain I feel as I approach the tent. Someone new draws near to me and after a short introduction he tries to persuade me not to go inside the tent.

"Mr Grey, are you sure you want to see the body. It's been here for a long time according to the coroner has been able to establish," he says.

"I have to see, I need to make sure," I say uncertainly.

"Make sure of what sir," Taylor asks from beside me.

"I need to make sure it's not Ana," I reply softly.

I release a sob then look into Taylors eyes, willing him to object and stop me. Without a word Taylor reaches for my shoulder and gives it a little squeeze, panicking when I realise he's not going to stop me. What I find shocks me so completely that I dash back outside and empty the contents of my stomach in the shrubbery. I take a deep breath and try to hold it together, repeating the same thing over and over in my head.

"It's not Ana, oh God please don't let that be Ana," I say it so much that the words stop making sense and my world starts to spin out of focus.

I hear bird song and then voices, soft at first but eventually they get louder and clearer.

"Did he hit his head," someone beside me asks aloud.

"No, he just collapsed I think. I warned him not to go inside."

"Mr, Grey can you hear me," I instantly recognise Taylors voice and try to open my eyes.

The world slowly comes back into focus and I'm surprised by the amount of people leaning over me. I push myself into a sitting position and brush my hair back from my face.

"Take it easy sir, just sit here for a minute and get your bearings," says Taylor.

I look up at Taylor and notice how pale he his and wonder how much worse I look. Someone brings me a bottle of water and I slowly sip at the liquid, shocked by how shaky hand is.

"I'm sorry," I say to no one in particular and try to smile when Taylor pats my back reassuringly.

"What happens now," I ask as I glance back towards the tent uncertainly.

"We will have to use dental records to identify the body. Once we have all the evidence at the crime scene the body will be moved to the hospital morgue, " one of the investigates explain.

"How long before you know," I ask letting the information sink in.

"It will take a few weeks at least to make a formal identification. I'm sorry sir but the process does take time."

"Can we expedite the process in anyway, money is no object," I plead.

"I'm sorry but it takes as long as it takes, now if you will excuse me but I need to talk with police about cordoning off the area."

I watch as the man walks away and I try to hide the sudden surge of anger that rises in me. I stare at the random people milling about and peer up towards the darkening sky.

Someone is dead I think to myself, I've seen the body. I probably know who the victim is, my mother in law, Ana's mother. I feel empty, blank as I think of Carla and then unbelievably guilty. Guilty because as terrible as it would be to discover the body is Carla's it would be a hundred times worse if it was Ana's.

I visualize the worst without meaning too, I start to imagine that it's Ana laying on that cold ground. I feel fear like I never have before I taste bile, it rises in my throat. Without warning I lean over and start to heave, again and again until there's nothing left. Taylor takes me by the arm when I finally stop and moves me away. He signals to somebody close by and I notice it's Ryan. Together they help me walk back towards the car and once inside Taylor wraps a blanket around me and joins me in the back seat.

As Ryan drives us away I stare out of the window, watching as the figures get smaller and the tent disappears. I start to feel dizzy and rest my head back, Taylor pulls me to his side and I suddenly burst into tears.

I don't seem to be able to stop and I'm practically hysterical by the time we pull up at our hotel. Then I notice a woman rush up towards the car, the door opens and she flies inside.

"Mom," I mutter between sobs.

"Yes sweetheart, I'm here it's okay let it out," she says softly. She takes Taylors place and envelopes me in her arms. I let go of all the emotions I've bottled up for years and howl. I hold onto her tightly like I failed to do as a child and finally allow her to comfort me. I'm so glad she is here with me especially now, I only wish I could have my wife and daughter too.


	4. Chapter 4

Missed - Chapter 4

The sun wakes me as it shines through a chink in the curtains, for a moment I'm not sure where I am and then I notice someone sitting beside the bed.

"Ana?" I whisper uncertainly.

"Christian it's me darling are you okay," says the distinct voice of my mother.

"Mom, where are we," I ask aloud as I try to get my bearings.

"We're in Arkansas honey, at the hotel remember," she prompts. Then everything hits me, the house where Ana was taken, the body in the woods and my mother comforting me in the car. I sweep my hand through my hair thoughtfully as I gaze at my surroundings. "How did I get here," I ask uncertainly.

"Jason and I helped you up to your room once you had calmed down. You collapsed into bed and slept the night away, I stayed with you in case you woke but you never made a peep."

"I slept for over ten hours," I think out loud. "Pretty much, maybe even longer. You were wiped out, you needed to rest. Jason called me at the hotel and told me how upset you were. He told me about the woods and then when you arrived back and I saw your face, oh sweetheart I'm so sorry."

"What were you doing at the hotel?" I question.

"Jason called me a few days ago at home and I knew something was very wrong. He's never called me before and after some gentle persuasion I got him to tell me the whole story."

"The whole story?" I hesitantly ask.

"Everything Christian, I only wish you could have been the one to tell me. I arrived here with Luke at about noon but you had already left. By the time Taylor called I was out of my mind with worry."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the real reason for my trip Mom. I guess I was scared about what I would find here and I wanted to protect you from it."

"I want to know Christian I need to, you weren't the only one to loose something when Ana was taken."

"What did you loose," I ask suddenly defiant.

"I lost my sweet, beautiful and caring daughter in law and I lost my precious son."

"You didn't loose me, I'm right here."

"Sweetheart you left when Ana did, don't you see that. You only emerge when you're with Teddy but you are never quite the same. Ana and Teddy were the making of you as much as I'd like to think your father and I were.

"I miss her so much," I sob as I listen to my mother.

"I know sweetheart, we all do."

"It hurts so much all the time, Mom do you think Teddy lost me," I ask suddenly.

"No, for him you're always present. You may not quite be the person you were with Ana but for Teddy you haven't changed."

I sigh at my mothers words, thankful that for Teddy at least I'm everything I should be. I gaze thoughtfully out of the window as I think about my little boy, I miss him too so much.

"You're a good father Christian, so thoughtful and patient with Teddy, Ana would be so proud of you," my Mom says softly.

"Will," I remark.

"Will, what?" she asks.

"Ana will be proud of me Mom, the will is important."

"It is and I'm sorry, or course Ana will be proud of you. I know I am."

"Thanks Mom and I'm sorry you lost a part of me but I'm here now."

"I'm glad," says my mother as she wipes away a tear.

After our talk my mother convinces me to return to Seattle, I'm reluctant to leave but once I think about Teddy I agree it's time to go.

Sawyer and Welch have agreed to stay on with Sarah and together they will search for more leads. I left contact information with the local police and the medical examiner so I can stay informed.

Honesty I don't think I could have stayed here anyway, I need to go home and find something else to do. I would have gone mad waiting here for the results of the post-mortem and formal identification of the body.

After our flight Taylor drives us back to my house where I know I will need to inform Ray about everything. I'm nervous about how he will react to the news but also I'm excited about seeing my son.

As we approach the house I see someone small dash out and run towards the car. We pull up and I leap out of the vehicle and run in the direction of my little boy. We meet half way and he jumps into my arms enthusiastically.

"I'm so glad you're home Daddy," he squeals in my ear.

"Me too," I tell him softly as I hold him tightly in my arms.

He smiles and laughs and I'm instantly reminded of his mother, it's funny that as much as our son resembles me his personality is all Ana's.

I marvel at his little mannerisms and wonder how two people can be so alike. It's bittersweet though sometimes, especially when I catch him doing something like Ana and have to stop myself from breaking down.

I hope one day soon he will know his mother like me and together they can see their similarities. I hope one day soon I will know Olivia and find my own precious creation.

The weeks that follow are hard on us all, I've sat by the phone and watched the seconds tick by, waiting for the call that will end my uncertainty.

I've tried to keep busy, dividing my time between work and home but I can't seem to hold it together for long. I haven't really slept for months and I'm so irritable sometimes that I wonder how I have any staff left. I try to be patient with Teddy but even he has seen me crack a few times and then he runs to his Poppy for comfort.

Poor Ray has been almost as much of a basket case as myself since he heard the news. He cried openly when I told him about Carla but his anger over Morton soon eclipsed his sadness. I've shown him the pictures I found in the house and it has given him some hope but it's fleeting and certainly bittersweet.

I called Bob from a phone number Welch was able to obtain and told him about the facts according to Ms Gilmore. He was devastated by my story and made me promise to call him back as soon as there was more information. I've called him everyday since then and tried to offer him some comfort but I have precious little of that to go around.

Finally on Thursday the 20th of February I got the news I had been waiting for. I was woken by my phone in the early hours and made a quick dash to answer it up before it woke anyone else in the house.

"Hello, Grey speaking,"

"Mr Grey, I'm Mr Morgan calling from Freetown medical centre in Little Rock Arkansas." I hold my breath at his words and wait for him to speak again because I'm momentarily speechless.

"I have the results of the forensic dentistry tests that were carried out," he pauses and I suddenly find my voice.

"What, what are the results," I ask softly in a voice that is not my own.

"I can say with a 100% of accuracy that the body that was recovered on the 12th of January is that of Carla May Adams. The files we obtained from her dentist was enough to establish the identification but we also performed DNA analysis to be certain."

He drones on for over a minute about the tests that were compiled but I stopped listening once he mentioned the name. I fall down to the ground and hold the phone shakily with my hand as I let it all sink in.

The words Carla May Adams play on repeat in my head and without warning I let go of my emotions and allow a single sob to escape from my lips.

It wasn't Ana, it's not my Ana, I think with unimaginable joy. But ultimately my joy is fleeting as I remember that my mother in law is dead and nothing can bring her back.

I hang up abruptly on my caller and slowly make my way to Ray's bedroom. Ray is very much awake as I knock on his door as he answers almost immediately. I tell him about the phone call and he too looks momentarily relieved and then deeply saddened by the news. Together we tell the rest of the family but not before we pause for a moment and allow everything to slowly sink in.

Over the preceding days we prepare for the funeral, I wanted to wait until Ana was found but Bob just couldn't face waiting any longer than necessary. So with a heavy heart my whole family along with Ray, Bob and a scattering of Carla's friends, laid Carla to rest.

We chose to bury her in a beautiful cemetery close to where we live, so that Ana can visit her anytime once she returns. Bob agreed with the final resting place completely, knowing that Carla would want to be close to her daughter even in death.

I bought a bouquet of white roses to lay on Carla's grave, as a tribute to her daughter Ana Rose Grey. Ray placed lilies and Bob left a single pink rose because he said pink was her favourite.

I didn't allow Teddy to come to the funeral, he's still so confused by death and he was never very close with his Grandma. Maybe if he was older I would have taken him but at five I thought he was just too young. Gail and Taylor stayed with him back at the house, along with little Ava who was equally to young to attend.

As the funeral ended I stayed by the graveside with Ray and Bob as everyone else departed. We were silent for a long time until finally I broke the peace in my attempt to offer Bob some peace.

"Carla died protecting her daughter and grandchild and for that I will always be grateful. I hope she's at peace now her family have found her."

"I'm sure she is," says Ray kindly as he patted Bob on the back.

"I don't believe she will ever truly be at peace until Ana is returned to her family," replied Bob.

I was silenced by his remark and instantly subdued, he's right of course we need Ana back before Carla can genuinely be at peace. I thought about Bob's words for weeks after the funeral, I woke up nights tormented by my need to bring her back. Unfortunately our search has hit a dead end and every possible lead has uncovered nothing new.

I'm feeling hopeless again and I'm starting to slip back into my depression.

For many nights now I have tried to see Ana's face but I can't even imagine her anymore. I've shut myself away from the world and only faced it to see my son and spend time with him. My mother tried to get me to talk to Flynn but I couldn't face it and even the pills she gave me brought me little comfort.

Then something wakes me up in the night I look around my bedroom momentarily dazed then realise it's my phone. I think about letting it keep ringing but not wanting it to wake Teddy I finally pick it up.

"Grey speaking," I say drowsily.

"Christian," someone shakily asks.

For a split second I'm rendered speechless by the voice on the other end of the phone, then filled with uncertainty I answer.

"Ana?"


	5. Chapter 5

Missed - Chapter 5

I hold my breath, a hope I've fostered for years suddenly becomes possible, I can feel myself shaking as I wait for an answer. I'm squeezing tight to the phone as my heart practically hammers out of my chest.

"Christian," comes the reply.

"Ana, Ana is that you?" I sob.

"It's me," she whispers her own sobs becoming audible.

"Are you okay, where are you?" I ask as fear envelopes me. Is she safe is she still being held my that despicable man.

"I'm safe," she answers almost immediately. "I got away, I'm safe."

Thank God I think after her assurance as tears begin to drip down my cheek.

"I love you," I sob, wanting to tell her something I've wanted to say for a very long time.

"Christian, I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you" she repeats until a sob forces her silence. I try to get her to calm down but it seems she's unable, she just too worked up. Eventually she managed to contain her emotions and I'm able to ask where she is. When she tells me she's in Canada I want to get to her immediately but I can't end our call.

I call Taylor using the landline all the time keeping in contact with Ana via my cell. Taylor organises the company jet to take me to Ana as I throw various items into a suitcase.

I keep Ana on the line for as long as I can but when her money starts to run out I reluctantly have to say goodbye. Then I dash around like a mad man as a half dressed Taylor and I rush out the door.

I board the flight in record time only vaguely aware that I should have told Ray where I was going. I was so distracted that I didn't even wake Teddy to tell him I was going on a trip.

Ana asked repeatedly about Teddy and wanted to know everything she has missed. I told her stories about our son and Ana told me all about my daughter Olivia.

She doesn't want Teddy to see her yet and wouldn't go into detail about why, she just said that she was a mess right now.

As soon as we touched down, Taylor and I rushed to the address Ana gave us. My heart sunk when I realised the address was a hospital, Ana never told me she was hurt or sick.

Taylor manages to get her room number and I dash thoughtlessly towards it. Bursting through the door, I thought for a moment that I had the wrong room. Then the figure in the bed moved and our eyes met, I knew it was Ana the instant I saw those beautiful blue eyes.

"Ana," I choked out as I ran towards her.

"Christian," said Ana sleepily.

I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, I wasn't about to let go any time soon.

Ana rested her head on my chest and let out a contented sigh, like she was finally at peace.

We stayed locked together for a while, occasionally caressing and kissing each other. When Ana finally pulled away I tried to pull her back but she stopped me by reaching for my face.

"Oh Christian I have missed this face, let me look at you," she asked.

I allowed her to memorise my face, each line and grey hair a testament to my loss of her and my baby girl.

While she gazed at me lovingly I allowed my eyes to look at her too. Immediately I noticed a strange emptiness to her eyes and although she was smiling the look never went away. She was pale, much paler than usual and I noticed several faded bruises across her jaw and cheek.

I shifted my gaze to appraise her body and that's when I realised how skinny she was. Skin and bone and fragility was all I saw when I looked at my wife, she was so changed it scared me.

"Are you okay," I ask thoughtfully.

"I'm fine," she replies with a smile. I smile back then remembering my fear I ask her why she's so thin.

"I didn't get a lot to eat at the end but really Christian I'm fine," she explains. I look at the confidence in her face but can't shake the fear at her appearance.

"I'm fine," she repeats and seeing her smile I can't help but believe her.

We talked together for ages, not about her ordeal but about the light and happy events of our life together. I watched happily as she tucked into her breakfast but felt concerned when she failed to eat much. I tried not to be too controlling but I worried why someone half staved had so little appetite.

Just before noon a nurse entered and told us about a visitor who had arrived to see Ana. We then heard a knock at the door and not waiting for an answer a tiny blur dashed towards Ana's bed.

Ana's smile grew as she gazed at the little girl, then with the nurses help she lifted her onto the bed. I can't stop starring at the perfect angel that has just appeared, she's beautiful and Ana's double.

Little ringlets of dark curls frame her smiling face and every feature is Ana's in miniature. I watch as she nestles in her mothers embrace and marvel at her bright grey eyes, her only feature that showed she was mine.

"Olivia I have someone I want you to say hello too," Ana says as she looks at her happy face. Olivia turns her face and suddenly realises she's not alone with her mother. She gazes at me shyly, accessing me just like her mother did when we first met.

"Hi," she says softly then hides her face in Ana's encircled arms.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm so glad to meet you," I reply in an equally soft manner.

She gazes at me then looks towards Ana and whispers something in her ear. Ana nods her head and Olivia instantly starts to smile.

"She asked me if you were her Daddy," Ana whispers back. I nod my head and Olivia shifts her gaze back to my direction. Then without warning she lifts her tiny hand to my face and gazes at me solemnly.

"You got grey eyes," she suddenly announces.

"You do too," I say happily. Then she looks thoughtful, like she's thinking about what to say next.

"You are a very pretty young lady," I tell her and she answers back with another glorious smile.

"Mommy too," she asks frankly and I smile at her love for her mother.

"Yes mommy too, you are both beautiful and I'm so glad I'm here with you both."

Olivia smiles again as she looks back at Ana, then completely amazing me she says softly. "I'm glad you here too Daddy."

I can't stop staring at my two beautiful girls as they lay sleeping beside me. Ana is pushed up against me, resting her head on my shoulder and clasping hold of my shirt, even in sleep. Olivia is leaning against Ana but her tiny hand lays open on my chest and I marvel at how trusting she is.

I still can't believe that I have them back, I'm almost afraid to sleep, in case I wake and find out this was all a dream.

Since Ana and Olivia fell asleep I managed to call Ray and my mother and tell them what has happened. Ray was so emotional he could barley string two words together and of course he wanted to know why I hadn't told him the moment Ana called. I didn't know how to answer him, I guess I just needed to make sure Ana was real before I told anyone.

My mother was almost as upset as Ray and it took me a while to calm her fears about Ana. Eventually with Taylor's help we managed to book half the family to come out to see us in Canada. Mom, Dad, Kate, Elliot, Ray, Gail and Teddy are all on their way, as well as Sawyer, Ryan and Reynolds for extra security.

I can't wait to see Teddy but I'm worried about Ana's reaction when I tell her he's on his way. I didn't get to talk to him as he was at school but I know he will be excited about the trip. So far we've decided not to tell him why he's visiting me in Canada but once he arrives I'm planning on preparing him for the real reason.

I hope his reunion with Ana will be as special as my introduction was with his baby sister. Mostly I hope we can all be a family again and enjoy making new memories together.

Still I can't stop thinking about what Ana has been through in the last three years. She hasn't told me much about her ordeal and at the moment I haven wanted her to relive it. On the outside she seems and acts a lot like the Ana that was taken from me but I can see there's a lot going on just below the surface. I thought about calling Flynn and asking him to come out with the family, but I didn't want Ana to feel pressured into opening up to him.

All I really know about Ana's abduction is what Ms Gilmore has told me and Ana's brief explanation as to how she ended up in the hospital. She told me David helped her to escape but so far nothing has been found of the two men who were keeping her.

David and Morton are still at large and although the police have begun a search nothing has been discovered.

I look back down at Ana as I feel her stir, she's still sleeping but I can hear her muttering something. At first I can't make out what she's saying, then slowly her words become clearer and with clarity comes pain.

"No, stop I don't know what you want," she states softly.

"Stop, you're hurting me. I can't breath," she gasps and I move to wake her.

She starts to struggle in my arms then suddenly she bolts upright, shaking and holding her hand around her throat.

"Ana, you're okay," I tell her.

"You're safe," I explain as her gaze sweeps around the room.

"Bad dream," Ana explains.

"Want to talk about it," I ask.

Ana shakes her head then looks over at Olivia, absentmindedly she strokes the soft curls away from her face and sighs.

"Ana what happened," I question as I try to stay calm.

Ana's quiet at first, thoughtfully looking at Olivia then back towards the window.

"Morton beat me," she exclaims. I look at her face then swallow the bile rising to my throat, I'll kill the bastard I think but I don't voice that to Ana.

"When he was angry he'd beat me, usually he'd just slap my face but sometimes he would punch me. Once he tried to strangle me, I relive that event in my dreams, that and the night he killed my Mom."

She looks at me and the sorrow that seeps from behind those deep blue eyes breaks my heart. I reach for her and without hesitation she sinks into my embrace.

"I'm so sorry that he did that to you and I'm so sorry about your mother."

I pull her closer and she starts to sob her hands squeezing tight around my waist. I wrap her closer still and wait for this first sorrow to pass. Ana's always been a brave and capable woman and I'm praying she can overcome what's happened to her.

As she calms a question pops into my mind and I break the silence to get the answer I need.

"Baby can I ask you something," I ask softly.

"What," she's asks in a quiet voice.

"Did he ever hurt Olivia," I blurt out, apprehensive about the answer.

"No, I would have killed him if he ever laid a hand on her. He knew that, so I took both our beatings and gladly too. No one hurts our daughter Christian, no one."

I kiss her forehead softly at her last remark and nod my head in understanding. But inside I'm incensed by Ana's story and want so badly to find Morton so that I can kill him. I'm so full of rage that I'm actually imagining how to carry it out until I feel Ana lightly touch my cheek.

"No, Christian," she says reading me instantly.

"What?"

"You know what and I don't want that. I don't want anything to take you away from me again."

"Nothing will ever separate us again, nothing," I say with confidence.

"Murder will," Ana replies.

"I could pay someone to cover it up, I could hire a hit man."

"No Christian you need to promise me, please don't sink to his level."

"I don't think I can make that promise," I say reluctantly.

"You can, you can't kill anyone. It will change you and I can't live with that, knowing it was because of me."

Ana pauses for breath then reaches for my hand, "Promise me," she pleas. I look at her face and see the sorrow that Morton etched there. Then I see a tear fall down her cheek and realise it's due to my behaviour. Reaching up I gently wipe away the tear then kiss her soft lips, grudgingly I bow my head.

"I promise," I submit.


	6. Chapter 6

Missed - Chapter 6

I stay with Ana at the hospital until early next morning Taylor comes to tell me that my family has arrived. I leave Ana and Olivia sleeping and quietly exit the room, hoping they will sleep a little longer.

"Christian," my mother greets me as soon as I'm out in the corridor. I walk towards her and pull her into my embrace, happy that everyone is here with me. I look up I see my dad and Ray looking in my direction and smiling happily. My mom explains that Gail, Elliot and Kate took Teddy to the hotel to sleep off some of the fatigue from the flight. I'm almost relived that he isn't here yet as I hope to prepare Teddy and Ana before they meet.

"Where is she," asks Ray uncertainly as he paces around the hallway. I look up at his face and realise he needs to see Ana now, whether she's ready for him or not.

My mother and father decide to wait outside until Ana is ready to see them and to allow Ray some privacy with his daughter.

I open the door and softly walk inside, Ana is still fast asleep but Olivia is starting to stir. She turns in my direction and gives me an apprehensive grin, then seeing Ray she fearfully buries into Ana's chest.

"Hey sweetheart it's okay this is your Poppy. Poppy is mommy's daddy," I explain.

Bravely she turns back to look at Ray and he smiles at her tenderly. "Hello angel I'm so happy to meet you," he coos softly.

She continues to watch Ray intensely before she finally bestows on him one of her precious smiles. We both smile back at her and I can see that Ray is instantly smitten with his granddaughter.

Suddenly excited by her admires Olivia starts to bounce on the bed and instantly wakes her mother. Ana wakes slowly but as soon as her eyes meet with Ray's she immediately breaks down. Ray runs towards her and pulls her into his arms as Ana continues to sob. Her tears start to upset Olivia so I pick my little girl up and carry her outside to see my parents.

"Why momma cry," she asks as I carry her towards the waiting room.

"Mommy was so happy to see her daddy that it made her cry," I explain.

"Momma sad," she asks.

"No mommy is happy, they were happy tears," I reply. Olivia looks like she doesn't quite understand how someone could cry because they were happy. But before she can ask me to elaborate we are interrupted by my moms surprise as she see's Olivia.

"Olivia, I would like you to meet your grandma and grandpa, they are my mommy and daddy," I explain.

Olivia regards them with the same intensity she did with Ray, but luckily they are able to win her over almost immediately. Olivia seems to connect with my mom the most and before I know it she is happily sitting on her lap chatting away.

While she seems settled with my parents I leave her and go back to Ana's room. Opening the door I see her leaning against her father as he holds her hand tightly in his own work worn hand. Slowly I walk towards them and ask if I can stay, uncertain if my presence may disrupt their reunion.

Ana smiles at me as soon as she sees me so I decide to stay, kissing her forehead as I sit in the empty chair beside her.

Initially there is not much talk between them, they just seem content to sit beside each other. Then finally Ray breaks the silence and we start to talk about Olivia. "Oh Ana, you have such a beautiful little girl. She looks just like you did at that age," he remarks. Ana smiles at Ray's words then starts to talk in more detail about Olivia.

Ray and I continue to chat about Olivia as Ana grows quieter and becomes more thoughtful. Eventually she voices what is troubling her and asks about Teddy.

"Is Teddy here?"

"Not yet he was so tired from the flight so Elliot and Kate took him to the hotel for a rest," I explain.

She nods as I speak but I can tell she's still thinking about her son. "I can call them and get them to bring him here," I say sensing her anxiety.

"No, let him rest and then you need to talk with him before we meet."

"Whatever you want,"

"I just don't want to upset him," she explains thoughtfully.

"You won't Ana, believe me he can't wait to see you."

"He can't," Ray seconds and I smile at the encouragement.

Later that morning Kate calls to say that Teddy's awake and asking for me. I tell Ana that I'm going to fetch her son and she breaks down once again.

"Sweetheart everything is going to be alright, now you stay with your dad and Olivia and I'll be back soon."

It takes a while before Ana in calm enough that I feel willing to leave her and then kissing my girls goodbye I leave for the hotel.

Taylor drives and I can tell he is almost as anxious to see Gail as I am to see Teddy. Not having the key card I knock on the door, it bursts open and out pops Teddy flinging himself into my arms.

"Daddy, daddy we flew in the big plane," he tells me excitedly.

"Did you and did you hold grandma's hand," I ask knowing of my mom's fear of flying.

"Grandpa did, I was sitting next to uncle Elliot. Daddy uncle Elliot was laughing at grandma because she was scared but I didn't laugh," he says seriously.

"That's because you're a good boy not like uncle Elliot," I say smirking as I catch Elliot's amused expression.

"Listen I need to talk to you about something important, how about you show me your room," I ask not wanting an audience.

Teddy takes my hand and leads me towards the room that has all the toys spilled out on the floor. He sits on the bed and I sit beside him, suddenly aware of how nervous I am.

"Teddy, there was a reason I came here," I explain.

"Work," Teddy suggests as he looks up at me.

"No, I came to see someone, someone very special," I say.

"Who?" he asks.

"Teddy I came here to see your mommy," I explain falteringly.

Teddy stares at me at the mention of his mother, his face looking utterly confused.

"Mommy's here," he asks softly.

"Yes, mommy's here, I found her," I say happily.

"Where is she," he asks still looking a little lost.

"Mommy is at the hospital with your little sister Olivia," I explain.

"I have a little sister," he asks surprised.

"You do, she is two and a half and looks just like her big brother," I reply.

"Does mommy want to see me," he asks suddenly changing the subject.

"She can't wait to see you, she has missed you so much."

"Where did she go," he asks thoughtfully.

"Well, mommy was taken away from us when you were little. She didn't want to go but someone took her by force," I try to explain.

"Who took mommy away," asks Teddy fearfully.

"A man," I say hesitantly unsure how much to tell my five year old.

"He was a bad man," Teddy exclaims.

"He was," I agree then try to steer the conversation away from Stephen Morton.

"Do you want to see mommy," I ask hopefully.

Teddy is quiet at first as if he is really considering the question, then asks softy.

"What if mommy doesn't like me," he asks thoughtfully.

"Teddy, mommy loves you. She loves you so much and I know she is just as scared that you won't like her."

"But I do," he says with a certainty that make me smile.

"I like mommy to the moon and back." and in that moment I know he will be just fine.

We arrive at the hospital after lunch so Ana can spend time with just Teddy while Olivia is having her afternoon nap. I pause outside her room and ask if Teddy is ready to go inside. He looks up at me nervously pauses for a moment then slowly nods his head.

When we step inside I find Ana sitting on the sofa beside her bed and dressed in some of the clothes Gail and Kate packed for her. Her usual form fitting clothes hang loose on her slim frame and I can see that Kate must have given her some makeup, as she's less pale than earlier. She looks up expectantly as we approach, then reaches towards Teddy with delight.

"Oh baby, I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you so much," she exclaims. I watch as Teddy awkwardly allows Ana to hug him and kiss his rosy cheeks, while I try to reign in my emotions.

"Oh my baby boy, well not my baby anymore. You're my big boy now, you're almost as big as daddy," she remarks. Teddy smiles at her announcement and my chatty son can't help but join in with her enthusiasm.

"I go to school now, did you know," he asks uncertainly.

"I do," Ana remarks with a smile but I can tell the news is somewhat bittersweet.

"Do you like school sweetheart," she asks hopefully as she caresses his soft hair.

"I do, I play with my friends and learn stuff too," he replies excitedly.

"That's wonderful, I liked going to school too. I liked reading and drawing the most," says Ana.

"Me too, I like reading the big books with the long words and if I get stuck daddy helps me to sound them out."

"My dad helped me with the big words too and he always helped me with my homework."

"I hate homework but daddy helps me and Poppy and sometimes Gail," says Teddy thoughtfully.

"That's good, it's nice to have a lot of people to ask because everyone knows something useful," Ana explains.

It's funny but they talk together like old friends. Ana takes the lead in the conversation and in doing she helps Teddy grow in confidence. Eventually they both appear to have forgotten I am even there but I'm glad because it means Teddy is comfortable with his mother.

I watch them interact together and can't hide the enormous smile on my face. After all this time my son has finally been reunited with his mother and by the look on his face he's loving every minute of it.

When Teddy willingly sits on Ana's lap I start to think she's bewitched him. My son who adamantly declared he was to old to sit on his grandma's lap just three weeks ago has happily consented for Ana.

He's so well behaved and enthusiastic that it amazes me, even after Ana lays her thirtieth kiss on his cheek, he just smiles happily and allows it.

Sadly though, about forty minutes into our visit we're interrupted by a hasty knocking on the door. My mother appears with a heart broken little girl in her arms, calling pitifully for her mother.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but we can't calm her down, I think she had a bad dream," mom explains.

I walk over to them and reach for Olivia but she turns her tear streaked face towards Ana and calls for her. Reluctantly I take her to her mother and she quiets as soon as she's snuggled in Ana's waiting arms. I watch Teddy slip from Ana's lap to make room for his sister, his face masked with disappointment.

"Sweetheart look Teddy's here," Ana's explains happily, bouncing Olivia on her knee.

Olivia looks up and even though she's tired and upset she manages to give her brother a small smile. Teddy sadly does not reciprocate he just watches as Olivia hangs to Ana and rubs her cheek on Ana's chest.

"Teddy aren't you going to say hello to your little sister," I prompt.

"Hi," says Teddy shortly as he pensively watches her find comfort with Ana. Olivia fails to reply but on second glance I notice she's fallen back to sleep.

"I'm sorry Teddy, Olivia really wanted to meet you. You just caught her at a bad time," Ana tries to explain. Teddy just shrugs and without warning moves away from Ana and towards me.

"I want to go home," he whispers in my ear and immediately I panic at his sudden change of mood.

"Don't you want to stay and talk with mommy," I practically beg as my son starts to pull on my hand.

"No!" he snaps and I see Ana jump at his loud response. Angry at my son's behaviour I take him forcefully outside. He stops pulling on my hand at looks up at me in shock as I start to yell. I rarely ever shout at my son and it's such a surprise to him that he starts to cry.

"Teddy why were you rude to mommy," I finally manage to ask. He stands still then launches himself into my arms.

"Don't be cross at me daddy," he begs me.

"I'm not cross now just confused," I explain as I comfort my son.

"Mommy loves Olivia more," he tells me softly, after his sobs have ceased.

"That's not true, mommy loves you both equally," I tell him.

"Mommy went away from me, she stayed with Olivia," he answers softly.

"Mommy didn't want to leave Teddy, someone took her away."

"No one took Olivia away from mommy," he ponders.

"No, Olivia was lucky she got to stay with mommy. But that doesn't mean that mommy loves her more."

I watch as my son thinks this over then surprises me again when he asks to say goodbye to Ana. I wipe away his tears then holding his hand we walk back inside Ana's room. Ana looks up as we enter and hastily wipes away her own tears.

"Can I come again," Teddy asks boldly as he walk closer towards her.

"Or course you can sweetheart," says Ana happily.

"Will you kiss me goodbye," he asks shyly. Ana smiles then pulls him into her arms and beside my sleeping daughter. She kisses him repeatedly and Teddy can't seem to hide his joy at the interaction.

When we eventually leave he turns to look at Ana as she waves goodbye. He waves back then says softly, "See you soon mommy."

I watch Ana valiantly fight to stop her tears but unfortunately I fail to hide my own.


	7. Chapter 7

Missed - Chapter Seven

After their reunion yesterday I decide to visit Ana early the next morning on my own, hopefully if he is willing I'll bring Teddy over in the afternoon.

I wake before the sun and shower quickly, desperate to see Ana again after leaving her with Ray last night.

It's almost seven by the time Taylor and I make it to the hospital through the early morning traffic. When I walk inside Ana's room I see Ray and Olivia sitting down at the small table eating breakfast. Ray is helping Olivia with her cereal and she is chatting happily to her grandpa.

I glance around the room looking for Ana and I'm surprised when I find her still fast asleep in the bed. I walk towards the bed and let my eyes drift over her still form. She's still incredibly pale and small and I start to wonder why the doctors are keeping her at the hospital.

"Morning son," says Ray cheerfully as I wonder back towards the table.

"Morning," I say glancing back at Ana.

"Ray is everything okay," I ask still staring at Ana.

"No," Ray answers abruptly and I flash back to him surprised by his reply.

"Christian, Ana's been through hell, it will be a long time before she's okay and back to normal, if ever," he remarks sadly.

"Yes, I mean no, I mean physically is Ana alright physically."

"I think she's getting better son, but I'm hoping to catch her doctor today and find out what's keeping her here," he replies.

"Yes, I want to talk to the doctor too, she just doesn't look good to me."

"No she doesn't," Ray echoes softly but is distracted by Olivia.

"Pop look done," she announces as she points to her empty bowl.

"Well done sweetheart do you want anything else to eat," asks Ray.

"No, play," she asks hopefully.

Ray looks back towards Ana and seeing her still asleep decides to take Olivia to the hospital playroom while I stay with his daughter.

As they leave I walk back towards the bed and sit down on an adjacent chair. Ana looks so exhausted that I doubt she will wake anytime soon and then I start to wonder about all she's been through.

Ana told me that in the beginning Sarah and David managed to keep her somewhat safe from Morton. As time passed though he became more and more angry about their situation and started to blame Ana for her mothers death.

In his warped mind he felt that if Ana hadn't put up such a fight to keep her baby, Carla wouldn't have intervened and got hurt. When he was angry Ana and Sarah tried to keep Olivia safe from him but unfortunately Ana was often caught by him and physically assaulted.

I asked if he ever sexually assaulted her, fearful of her reply because I knew if he had I would fail to keep my promise to her. She was so adamant that nothing like that had ever happened that I almost apologised for asking.

"Christian, Morton hated me he had hoped for a large sum of money from you by kidnapping me. When he committed murder he knew no ransom would ever come without the truth coming out. I think he often thought about killing me too but deep down he was a coward. He didn't have the stomach for it but it didn't stop him from hurting me. When Sarah escaped I he knew his days were numbered. He started to drink too much and make mistakes, he locked me and Olivia away and forgot to feed us. Without David leaving me scraps I would have died, eventually David was able to get the better of him and helped me to escape." she had explained.

I asked about David and if he had ever hurt her but she said he was also a coward but unlike Morton he had a kind heart. She though Morton was probably holding something over David which kept him in line. It wasn't until Morton started drinking that he grew some backbone.

I asked she had got along with David but at first she refused to answer. Eventually she remarked, "How could I like someone who was holding me captive."

After that she stopped talking about her experiences and she hasn't talked about it since. I hope when we get her home she will talk with Flynn or someone who can help her to open up about those missing years.

I'm brought back from my musings by the soft melodic voice of Ana.

"Christian, you're back."

"Hey baby how are you feeling," I ask as I move to kiss her lips.

"I'm good how are you," she asks, expertly bringing the focus from her back to me.

"Perfect," I answer then go back for a second kiss.

"Where's Olivia," she asks.

"Ray took her to the playroom to show her the toys, I bet he's in seventh heaven playing with our his new granddaughter," I remark.

"I'm glad they're getting along, she was a bit wary of him last night."

"Really," I ask surprised.

"Olivia is a bit uncertain of men sometimes and Ray is a similar age to Morton I guess some men just bring back bad memories for her."

"Morton didn't hurt Olivia though, you told me he never laid a hand on her," I ask alarmed.

"He didn't lay a hand on her I promise, but he shouted a lot of the time and it scared her. Occasionally she saw him hurt me and Sarah and she saw me upset afterwards."

"She did," I exclaim angrily.

"She will forget Christian, thank God she's young enough to forget."

"But you won't," I lament sadly as I reach for Ana's hand.

"No I doubt I ever will, but hopefully I will move past this."

"You can," I say determinedly as I pull her hand to my lips.

After lunch I notice Ana is fighting to keep her eyes open so I suggest she rest before Teddy's visit. With Olivia laying sleepily beside her I watch as they both snuggle up together and eventually fall asleep.

Ray has gone back to the hotel to catch up on some sleep and Kate and Elliot have taken Teddy out for his lunch. My mom is trying to get a few minutes with Ana's doctor and I'm waiting for her return.

"Christian a doctor Geller is on his way to talk with us, I managed to catch him before he left for the day. Hopefully he can tell us more about Ana's condition," my mom explains as she walks through the door.

"Good, thanks for tracking him down," I reply.

My mom nods and sits down on the sofa, she looks up at Ana and her face changes instantly to one of concern.

Fortunately the wait is short as the quiet room is disturbed by a knock at the door. I look up and see a small man in a white coat enter.

"Mr Grey," he asks looking towards me uncertainly.

I stand and offer my hand as we make our introductions, then he sits down on the only vacant chair left in Ana's room.

"Well Mr Grey let me start by saying that your daughter is perfectly healthy and can leave at anytime. We brought her up to date with all the vaccinations she has missed and she tolerated everything beautifully. She's only here as a formality really because when Mrs Grey was admitted she had nowhere else to go. With your family here I see no reason why she can't be discharged."

"Good, that's good to know but what about Ana," I ask nervously.

"Mrs Grey is in a far more delicate state I'm afraid," he replies.

"What does that mean."

"Mr Grey your wife has been practically starved for months and as a result she is suffering from severe malnutrition. Her blood work showed an iron deficiency and a significant loss of other important vitamins and minerals. This has resulted with Ana being quite anaemia and a weakened immunity to infection."

He pauses for breath and I glance back at Ana shocked about what the doctor is telling me.

"When Mrs Grey was first admitted she had difficulty breathing and was clearly exhausted by the effort of getting here. We gave her a blood transfusion and oxygen therapy and then slowly began introducing certain foods into her diet. It's going to be a slow process but small amounts of food taken little and often will eventually improve her health and strength," he explains.

"When can she go home," I ask hopefully.

"Not yet, she needs to gain a bit more weight before I would feel comfortable discharging her. She's still very weak and the journey home would certainly set her back."

"Will she be okay, will she recover," I ask.

"I believe so, as long as she continues to improve and starts to gain weight," he replies.

"How are you treating Ana," my mother asks as I let the news slowly sink in.

"We are administering vitamin supplements and iron tables for the time being. Hopefully when she starts to tolerate food better we can stop the medication."

"She's so pale is that due to the anaemia," I ask.

"Most likely but the lack of daylight she experienced may also be a factor."

I nod my head as I listen and it hits me that Ana hasn't really been outside that much until her escape. After the doctor excuses himself I suggest that my mom go back to the hotel for a break while I stay with Ana.

"Do you want me to bring Teddy with me when I return," my mom asks.

"I'm not sure, I want to see how Ana is feeling before we bring Teddy back again," I explain.

"I understand, just call when Ana wakes up and tell me your decision."

I agree then watch as she slowly departs, my mom kisses my cheek goodbye and then pats my back. I'm so glad she is here, I don't know how I would have coped without her help.

I look back at Ana and my little girl and without meaning to I start to drift off too.

"Christian," I hear someone call as I try to wake myself.

"Christian, wake up," they call again.

I wake with a start and jump forward on my chair, looking up I see Ana looking scared as she holds tight to my hand.

"Ana, are you okay," I ask sleepily.

"I couldn't wake you," she replies strangely.

"Ana, I'm awake baby, what happened."

"You were calling out for help Christian, you called out and woke me. Was it a nightmare?" she asks softly.

I try to think back but everything is a blank, I can't remember dreaming let alone having a nightmare. I shiver then look down, surprised to see that I'm covered in sweat.

"I don't remember, but it's over whatever it was," I tell Ana. She's still clinging to my hand and staring at my face.

"It's okay, I'm okay, I'm just sorry I woke you," I say.

Ana smiles then and slowly I see her start to relax. When she moves to get up I watch her and ask if she needs any help.

"I'm fine I just need to use to bathroom," she tells me as she walks away. I stare at the closed door then look back at Olivia, who in spite of me is still fast asleep.

When Ana returns I help her get back into bed and kiss her forehead.

"I am sorry I woke you," I reiterate.

"It's okay," she mutters. "I think I'm sleeping to much anyway."

"You need it baby, you've been through so much."

I stroke her face softly and chastely kiss her cheek, eventually she sinks back to sleep with a small smile on her lips.

Olivia wakes first and I fetch her a snack as she seems hungry after her long nap.

"Mommy," she asks as she looks at Ana.

"Let mommy sleep angel," I ask as I pour some crackers onto the tray beside the bed.

Olivia nods then reaches for a cracker, happily munching while I pass her some milk.

"There you go sweetheart, that will make you big and strong," I tell her.

"Like you daddy," she asks and my heart skips as she calls me daddy. "Yes like me."

"Mommy need milk," she says thoughtfully as she looks back at Ana. "Yes mommy does, when she wakes up she can have some," I tell her. She seems happy at that idea and starts to smile. Then I watch as she quickly polishes off the rest of the crackers, occasionally handing me one which I happily take.

When she's finished I ask if she needs the to go to the toilet but she shakes her head adamantly. I pull some crayons from the bag my Mom left and some paper and together we draw on the table close to Ana's bed.

Olivia seems to enjoy colouring in so I draw some naive pictures for her to colour.

Unfortunately I'm not particularly artist but sweet Olivia doesn't seem to mind and before long we have reams of paper littering the small table.

"Daddy look," she exclaims as she shows me some of her more recent artwork.

"That's wonderful Olivia, and so colourful," I rave. "Lot's of colours," she says then shows me several of the brightly coloured crayons.

I smile then start to wonder how many colours she had to draw with before Ana saved her. I think back to the drawings I found in the house and realise the pallet of colours was sadly lacking. Well not anymore, Olivia is going to be spoilt for choice from here on out.

"Hey," says Ana as she suddenly sits up in the bed and rubs her eyes.

"Mommy, look," says Olivia as she shows Ana some of her drawings.

"Wow, they're perfect," says Ana full of admiration. Olivia smiles then moves towards Ana and gives her a kiss. I smile at Olivia's love for her mother but it's a little bittersweet because I want my daughter to feel the same way about me.

I guess Ana feels the same way about Teddy, then thinking of our little boy I ask if Ana feels up for another visit today.

"Of course I am and maybe he can spend some time with Olivia too," she says.

"I'll call my Mom and arrange a time," I say reaching for my phone.

I dial my moms cell and we decide now is as good a time as any so Ana goes to freshen up. Ten minutes later and Ana steps back into the room from the bathroom with little Olivia in tow.

"There that's better, how do we look," she asks.

"Perfect," I reply with a smile and together we sit on the sofa and await our son.

A little later we hear a gentle knocking on the door followed by Teddy holding tight to my mothers hand.

"Hey buddy," I say encouragingly and he skips towards me. I pull him into my lap and surprisingly he allows me too.

"Hey baby," says Ana softly then realising her mistake she quickly corrects herself.

"Sorry hello Teddy," she reiterates, knowing how much he hates to be called a baby.

"Hi," he replies with efficiency then looks down at Olivia thoughtfully.

Our little girl is seated between us just lightly holding Ana's hand for comfort. She looks at Teddy with an equal intensity then bravely reaches for his hand.

"Hi Ted," she whispers shaking his hand then quickly letting go.

Teddy watches her with an odd look on his face and I'm immediately worried about what he will do. We wait for a reaction and slowly he amazes us all by smiling and welcoming Olivia in the exact same tone.

"Hello, I'm your big brother," he tells her.

"I know," says Olivia honestly then she smiles shyly and we all join in. "I'm sissy," she says proudly and we all can't help but laugh at her announcement.

"You are," I agree and she reaches out to touch my shirt. "Daddy up too," she asks and Teddy moves up to allow Olivia some room on my lap.

"Hi," she repeats to Teddy now that she is closer to him. "Hi," he replies, smirking a little. I watch spellbound as they start a conversation and eventually Olivia persuades Ted to join her in some colouring. I'm so proud of my son as he takes the lead and helps Olivia onto her chair. Then a quiet descends as they concentrate on their drawings.

Teddy stays the rest of the day he even has dinner with us and I marvel when I realise it's our first meal together as a family. After we eat my Mom takes Olivia to the playroom so Ana can spend some time alone with Teddy.

He's almost back to his old self as they chat together and I'm amazed by his new confidence with Ana. He hasn't called her 'Mommy' since yesterday but I can tell he wants too. Finally he asks her a question and it practically breaks my heart.

"Mommy do you like me," he asks softly.

"Oh baby, of course I like you, I love you sweetheart," Ana replies sadly.

Then something hits her and she rushes to make an apology.

"Sorry I forgot you're my big boy not my baby anymore, I'll try to remember. It's just that I still remember you as my baby boy."

Teddy thinks about it then replies, "You can call be baby sometimes, but only you and no one else."

"Thank you," says Ana and I smile as Teddy reaches out and allows her to embrace him.


	8. Chapter 8

Missed - Chapter Eight

Today I'm finally able to take Ana home, it's been two weeks since I arrived here and Ana's been hospitalised the whole time.

The doctor finally decided that her weight is good enough to allow her departure, but we still have a long way to go before she's back to her original weight.

Olivia was discharged over a week ago but try as we might we were unable to get her to leave Ana. The first night I took her home she cried so much for Ana that I had to take her back to the hospital. Since then she has spent every night with Ana and never wanting to sleep apart from Ana again I have stayed too.

Poor Teddy has been left a lot with his grandparents and I haven't been able to tuck him in at night like I usually do. Fortunately Teddy seems to understand and even commented that it was okay if I spent more time with his little sister because she needed to get to know me.

I think Teddy understands that although he has plenty of family in his life that he knows and loves, Olivia only really had Ana. Hopefully in time, once she gets more comfortable around the rest of the family and me she will be able to leave Ana now and then.

We all fly back together in the company jet, and I watch as Teddy shows Olivia around while she cautiously follows him. I think she's a bit overwhelmed by everything but Teddy is surprisingly gentle with her.

Ana falls asleep half way into the journey and I realise just how weak she still is, still recovering from her ordeal.

When we touch down in Seattle I sigh in relief that my family is here together and we are finally so close to home. Sawyer drives me, Ana and the kids while Taylor drives my parents back to Bellevue.

Gail left earlier so she could get the house ready for us and buy a few extra things for Olivia. Her bedroom is still the nursery Ana and I prepared before her arrival and I wanted her to have a big girl bed instead of the crib and clothes and toys that are more age appropriate.

When we finally pull up to the house Ana gasps then quickly takes my hand. "Oh Christian, I didn't think I'd ever see my home again," she explains.

I squeeze her hand reassuringly then pick her up bridal style as we cross the threshold together.

Gail and the rest of the staff are there to greet us and I smile when I see the sign Gail must of made for us. It reads clearly 'Welcome Home Grey Family' and I'm so happy because that's just who we are.

As a family we show Olivia her bedroom and she's so overwhelmed by the pretty pink walls and all the toys especially for her that she starts to cry.

"Hey sweetheart do you like it," I ask hesitantly.

She nods her head as she notices the little white bed Gail set up for her with the patchwork quilt Ana made when she was pregnant. She looks at it thoughtfully for a moment then asks me fearfully, "Where mommy going to sleep."

"Baby, mommy has her own bedroom across the hall," I explain.

"Oh," she replies and I start to worry that she won't sleep here without Ana.

"Mommy and daddy's room is so boring, they don't even have any toys," says Teddy trying to help.

"Can I see," she asks softly.

So together we all march off towards our bedroom, Olivia gasps at the large bed but nothing else seems to impress her.

"Will mommy be okay without me," she asks Ana with genuine concern.

"I think so baby, but if I find it tough you are just across the hall and I know I can see you anytime," Ana explains.

"You can," Olivia agrees and then she reaches for Ana and they both exchange a hug.

I hope my little girl will be able to sleep on her own, I guess we may have a guest in bed with us tonight but hopefully she will soon get use to sleeping alone.

Gail comes to tell us that dinner is ready so we all go downstairs to eat. Olivia still seems in awe at the size of the house and carefully sits down next to Ana at the dinning table.

We eat happily as a family, Teddy telling us about his plans tomorrow when he goes back to school. He can't wait to tell all his friends about his new little sister and his mommy coming home.

After dinner Gail presents us with a welcome home cake that she baked earlier today and the kids are thrilled. I watch happily as they dive into the cake with gusto but I do worry when Ana fails to eat much and just pushes it around her plate.

I guess she's tired so I decide to get the kids ready for bed, I help then into their pyjamas and read to them both separately and together.

Teddy is the first to fall asleep but Olivia still seems worried about sleeping alone. "We are just across the hall remember," says Ana as Olivia snuggles against her chest. Then I listen as Ana starts to sing softly to our baby girl and before long she is fast asleep, nestled under her patchwork quilt.

"I hope she'll be okay," Ana whispers as I pull her out of Olivia's bedroom.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, but I have the baby monitor in case she wakes in the night and needs us," I tell Ana.

"The baby monitor, you still have that," asks Ana.

"I do, I have everything Ana. I kept it all for your return," I explain.

Ana looks thoughtfully at my remark then smiles and gently takes my hand. "I'm glad," she says then pulls me towards our bedroom.

A few hours later and I'm still staring at Ana as she lays in my arms fast asleep. I can't believe she is finally home and back where she belongs. Eventually I must have fallen asleep but at some point I'm woken by someone crying close by.

At first I think it's Olivia and move to get up and check on her, but as I shift the covers I realise it's Ana who's softly sobbing under the sheets.

"Ana, baby are you okay," I ask her tentatively.

She doesn't respond so I carefully pull back the sheets. I see her laying on her side with her knees pulled up to her chest, her slim shoulders shaking from the sobs.

Without a word I pull her into arms and hold her close, she instantly grips around my neck and clings to me.

"It's okay baby, it's okay," I repeat to her as I rock her like I did with Teddy when he was still a baby.

I look at the clock on the nightstand and it's almost five. By six Ana has fallen back to sleep but I'm to wired to join her. I start to worry about what started Ana's tears and plan for a way for her to see Flynn.

Ana's still nestled against me and I can feel every bone in her back. She's never been so light in all the years I've known her and then I start to worry about that too.

All in all it's not the best nights sleep I've ever had but at lease I've had Ana with me tonight. Maybe tomorrow we'll sleep better but right now I might as well get up, Teddy will be awake soon I need to help him get ready for school.

A few weeks have passed now since I brought Ana and Olivia home but unfortunately things are not going as well as I had imagined. Ana is still underweight and tires easily and her restless nights are not helping. I have had Flynn over countless times to talk with her but so far she has been unable to open up about her experiences.

Olivia unlike Ana is managing a lot better and in the last few weeks has really started to bond with me. She is still fearful around other men but she has allowed me and Ray to connect with her.

Olivia has also formed a strong bond with Gail and I'm glad because it allows Ana to spend more time getting to know Teddy. I'm so proud of my son, he has adapted amazing well to his new family.

On weekends we try to get out as a family and so far we have been to various places in and around Seattle. Olivia was entranced by Seattle Zoo and hasn't stopped talking about it since. In fact everywhere she goes is a new experience for her and I love how happy and confident she has grown over these past weeks.

Olivia has recently started to wake Teddy up in the mornings before he leaves for school and it's so funny to hear them chatter together and laugh when Teddy pulls Olivia into his bed.

It's wonderful how much my children have bonded and to an outsider you wouldn't think they had only recently just met one another. Gone is the jealously and uncertainly and now all I see is love and friendship.

I wish my relationship with Ana could be as easy as my children's but sadly Ana has had more to cope with and more burdens to put to rest.

A few days after her homecoming Ana finally spoke about Carla and together we went to visit her grave. I watched as she laid the white roses beside the headstone and held her tight when she broke down.

Ana was so upset that she spent several days in bed and barely ate a thing. I was so worried I called Flynn to talk with her but Ana was so despondent she wouldn't even let him see her. I called my mom and Kate and they both sat with her and tried to offer some comfort but Ana remained unresponsive, she just couldn't be reached.

After that I was so scared I tried to force her to eat, she pulled from me and hid her face in the bedcovers but I wasn't about to give up. I preserved and eventually managed to get her to eat something but for whatever reason she couldn't keep it down. I panicked and called my mom, she came to the house immediately and together we were able to settle Ana and get her to rest.

"I don't know what to do," I sob to my mother once Ana's asleep.

"She's eaten nothing in days and has barely spent any time with the children."

"Christian Ana's grieving you need to let her do that. It's all just hitting her now especially since she saw her mothers grave."

"But she's stopped eating, she can't afford to do that right now," I explain.

"Ana's appetite has always been effected by her mood. I know you're scared but eventually she'll take something."

"She just threw up and she's getting weaker everyday, what if she never eats again." "Christian you're overacting, look why don't you take the kids out for some fresh air and I will stay here with Ana. You never know I might have more luck getting her to eat than you, you might be to close to this."

Reluctantly I agree and take the kids out for their sakes and my own. When we get back I go upstairs to check on Ana, I can't believe it when I see her sat up in bed slowly devouring a bowl of soup.

My mom is sat beside her and I can tell straight away that they've both been crying. I ask if everything is alright and Ana finally communicates with me. "It's not alright Christian, but I think it might get better," she says. I smile and kneel down next to her, I kiss her cheek and stroke her hand.

When my mom leaves later on I ask her what she did to cause such a turn around but she won't tell me. All she will say it that they talked together and Ana spoke about her grief. Then she said that she thought Ana needed to take some medication to help with her depression. I'm shocked at her advice, was Ana depressed and then it occurred to me that of course she was, she's been through so much.

I took Ana to her doctors and she recommended that Ana take a mild antidepressant which of course she agreed too. Since then Ana has gotten a little better and is back to eating and is gaining weight once again. All the same she scared the hell out of me and I'm constantly concerned that she will slip back into her depression.

Today I found Ana in the study staring sadly at some papers, I could tell it was the letters I wrote to Olivia and now my wife has discovered them.

"I'm sorry," she gasped when she noticed my presence. "I didn't mean to read them, they're Olivia's."

"Its alright Ana, it's okay if you read them," I say as I shut the door and walk closer to her.

"Oh Christian they're so beautiful, but I'm sorry you ever had to write them."

"Why," I ask.

"Because we should have been together, you should have known that your daughter was alive and well."

"That's true but it doesn't change what happened. I'm just glad that I have you back, both of you."

"Me too."

"Maybe I should throw the letters away," I ponder as I notice the new tear stains on the pages.

"No don't, we need to keep them and maybe when she's older you can show them to her."

I think about what Ana says but I'm not really sure I ever want to look at the letters again, it just makes me too sad.

"Did you keep Teddy's letters," Ana asks me.

"The ones from Carla, yes I have them in the safe. I didn't read them but I kept them safe for Teddy in case he wanted to see them when he's older."

"Christian, I wrote those for Teddy."

"I guess in some ways I thought you might have been the author, especially after I learned about your mom but I didn't want to think too hard about it."

"Why not?"

"I was afraid you left clues on the pages that I had missed by not reading the letters."

"No, it's okay Christian I never managed anything that covert. It was David that allowed me to write to Teddy, but he wasn't stupid he read every word before he sent them to you."

"Well that's something I guess but I still wish I had read them especially now that I know they were from you."

"You still can," Ana points out and I can't help but smile at her logical response.

* * *

"I don't like you," sobs my daughter her bottom lip quivering as she makes that heart breaking statement.

"I want mommy," she screams then runs away from me. I give chase and catch up to her with Teddy following behind me, a worried look on his face.

"Sweetheart please," I say softly trying to get her to calm down.

"Mommy," she sobs again and reluctantly I realise I'm going to have to take her home.

I reach for her little hand but she stubbornly pulls away from me, so I guide her towards the car. Teddy has decided not to intervene, but he keeps staring at me sympathetically.

Once I get her fastened in her car seat and watch to see if Teddy is secure and pull out of the parking space. All the way back home Olivia continues to sob, she asks for Ana repeatedly and looks sadly out of the window.

I pull up at the gates and Reynolds happily opens them, smiling and waving at the children. Unfortunately only Teddy responds with a hesitant wave in Reynolds direction.

Gail opens the door for us and I watch as Olivia storms inside and searches for Ana. She finds her resting on the sofa and launches herself into her mothers arms.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" Ana asks stroking our daughters damp face and wiping away her tears.

"Miss," is Olivia's muffled reply as she has buried her head in Ana's chest.

"Did you miss me sweetheart," Ana guesses.

Olivia nods but seems unable to reply so Ana hugs her tighter and rocks her gently back and forth.

When her sobs finally dissipate it's because she has fallen asleep, her tear stained face just peaking out from Ana's embrace.

I help Ana carry her to her bedroom and we carefully lay her down on her bed. I watch Ana sweep some hair away from her face then kiss her splotchy cheek.

I kiss her too but I don't linger I need to find Teddy and make sure his sisters antics haven't upset him. I find him chatting to Gail and explaining why Olivia was sad when we returned.

Ana hears him tell Gail some of the story and falters in her step when she realises it was me that caused all the upset. Kissing Teddy and making sure he's happy to play with Gail for a while she unceremoniously pulls me towards my study.

"What happened," she asks as soon as the door clicks shut.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would upset her."

"What did you do?"

"We were in the park playing hide and seek, I was it and the children were both hiding amongst the trees. I saw Olivia first and without thinking it through I kind of jumped out at her and surprised her. I realised what a mistake I'd made the second I saw her face, I scared her Ana I scared my little girl."

"Oh Christian, what happened after that,"

"She started crying immediately and she told me she didn't like me. By that time she was making so much noise that Teddy rejoined us and then she just ran away. We caught up to her and managed to get her back in the car. Ana, she cried all the way home. I'm such an idiot I was playing with her like I play with Teddy and I forgot she's a lot younger and so fragile at the moment."

I bow my head overwhelmed by my own stupidity, God knows what could have happened, I could have lost her again. I feel Ana stroking my hair and look up at her amazed by her compassion.

"Ana, please forgive me," I ask.

"Christian there's nothing to forgive, you made a mistake. I know you would never hurt our children on purpose. Look Olivia will be fine, she'll forgive and forget in a heartbeat and she's not that fragile either. You have to remember that because you can't walk on eggshells around her forever. Our little girl is tough and headstrong and every bit as robust as Teddy. You'll see, when she wakes up just tell her that you're sorry, she's very forgiving Christian."

I can't help but smile at Ana's words of comfort and wonder how I managed all this time without her. Once Ana has effectively cheered me up with her words and after her kisses we go back out to play with our son.

Teddy has a favourite activity at the moment where he loves to bake with Ana. He has helped Gail in the kitchen in the past but he seems to get a real kick out of cooking with his mom. Ana claims it's because unlike Gail she indulges Teddy's sweet tooth by letting him sample a lot of their endeavours. But I know it's because he likes to be with Ana and particularly enjoys having her all to himself.

I watch happily as they start a new project and decide to bake some chocolate chip cookies. It's especially pleasing when Teddy asks to make the cookies because they are Olivia's favourite and he wants to cheer her up.

He has really surprised us all by his affection for his little sister, I keep thinking the honeymoon is bound to end soon but so far they remain the best of friends. He reminds me of Mia and I growing up and how close we were. I just hope he doesn't grow too distant with her when he's older like I did when I hit my teenage years.

The cookies are baking in the oven and the whole house is filled with their mouth watering aroma. We're all watching a movie when I hear the tell tale sound of our daughter waking up. She calls out for Ana and then amazes us both by calling for me as well. Without looking back I dash up the stairs two at a time and peer into Olivia's darkened bedroom.

"Hey baby, did you have a good sleep," I ask.

She looks at me thoughtfully for a moment and I'm reminded of our first meeting all those months before.

"I'm so sorry for scaring you at the park," I explain. "Daddy was just being silly."

She continues to appraise me, then finally I see a small smile drift to her face. I take her cue and sit down on her bed and watch as she shuffle towards me.

"I love you baby," I say as I gently pull her into my lap. "Love Daddy," she tells me and I'm floored.

"Guess what, Teddy and mommy have a surprise for you."

"What?"

"Lets go downstairs and see."

Olivia jumps down and dashes towards to door then noticing I'm not with her she turns and shouts. "Come Daddy."

I jump to my feet and reach for her hand, Wow the two women in my life have certainly got me trained.

As soon as we reach the second step Olivia smiles as she sniffs the air.

"Cookies," she shouts and together we dash for the kitchen.


	9. Chapter 9

Missed - Chapter Nine

I've been trying to call Ms Gilmore for a few weeks now but for whatever reason she's not been picking up. Ana called her first when we got back to Seattle because she wanted Sarah to know that she was safe and finally back with her family. Unfortunately she wasn't able to make contact and together we have been calling her off and on since. I even have Welch looking into it but when he sent someone to her home they reported back that a young family who knew nothing of Ms Gilmore were living there.

I'm concerned that something bad has happened to her, especially with Morton and David still at large. I know Ana is worried too and this on top of her own problems has really prevented her from getting much sleep. The children can tell she's not quite herself and I'm scared because she seems to be slipping deeper into her depression.

I called my mom today and asked if she could come over and watch the kids while I took Ana off for the day. I was hoping the change of scenery would help and I really wanted to spend some time alone with Ana.

My mom jumped at the chance, eager to spend some extra time with Teddy and her new granddaughter. Once the kids were settled with mom I wasted no time in whisking Ana away. I thought she would enjoy some time on the ocean so I had the Grace made ready to set sail as we drove to the marina.

Ana was pretty quiet in the car and I thought at first she had fallen asleep but as I looked her way I saw her staring sadly out of the window.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly.

"Fine," she answered shortly, but I knew she was anything but.

I didn't want to push it so we drove the rest of the way in silence. When we pulled up at the marina I got the fist glimpse of a smile from Ana when she realised where we were.

"We're going sailing, Oh Christian it's been so long since we went out on the boat."

I smile but it's fleeting when I know that I've been out on the boat many times in her absence. I've taken long trips with Teddy and sometimes Elliot and been fishing countless times with Ray and my dad. I've sailed out alone into the howling wind many times and cried out at the loss of Ana and my baby girl.

Once I've made my final checks we set out together in the glorious morning sunshine. I'm smiling like an idiot when I see Ana lit by the dawn, her beautiful face so peaceful as she watches the surf.

"I love you," I suddenly announce, so softly that I assume she won't hear.

"I love you too," she replies.

We gaze at one another for a moment and then she pulls at my hand and takes it to her lips. She kisses softly on my palm then launches herself at me almost throwing me off balance. I catch her, then holding her tightly in my arms I kiss her soft lips over and over.

We first made love a few days after our return to Seattle, I was so scared about making the wrong move that I barely touched her. When we made love again it was more relaxed but it was still awkward and unfamiliar. Now as Ana pulls me towards the cabin I start to feel that old excitement and ease that comes from being with her.

We make love slowly, savouring every feeling and every new emotion. I stare at her reverently and she stares back at me with equal devotion. Together we reach that natural finality and together we break down, overwhelmed by the love we feel and the sadness that comes from being parted.

I'm watching Ana as she sleeps resting her head on my chest with our legs linked together. She looks peaceful, her dreams must be pleasant at last. I reach over and gently lay a kiss on her lips then slowly get up from the bed and walk back on deck. I watch the sun dip behind a cloud and decide to start up the motor and steer us back on course.

Behind the wheel I lose track of time, hypnotised by the changing lights and movement of the waves. When the bright reds of the sunset have almost disappeared I finally hear Ana moving around in the cabin below. I listen to her climb the ladder and smile when I see her sleepy face.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner, I missed the sunset."

"It was beautiful too, shame you slept though it," I joke but sober immediately when I see her face. "You needed your sleep baby, you haven't had a good rest in days."

She nods her head and I hope that I'm forgiven for not waking her sooner.

"Hey how about some dinner, Gail's packed us a feast," I say. Ana nods her head again and before long we're both sitting down to a gourmet meal. We eat happily and I'm glad to see the change in Ana as we chat and reminisce about all the times we've enjoyed on the Grace. It's late when we finally go to bed and together we hold one another as the boat rocks us to sleep.

I dream about Ana and our children, we're walking around the park and laughing together as the children run ahead. I call to them but they don't turn around, they just keep running. I dash after them but when I reach them I only see Teddy, I panic and call out for Olivia, I look back and shout for Ana to help me look. Teddy looks at me strangely as I call for Ana then asks me who I'm calling for. I shout at him and say your sister and mommy of course and then he looks at me sadly then softly says, "I don't have a sister and mommy left me years ago."

I shoot up in bed my little boys words forcing me back into reality. Fearfully I reach for Ana and with pounding heart instantly relax when I feel her hair spilling onto my pillow. I fall back on the bed and sigh in relief that it was just a bad dream. It was so vivid that I'm still a little wired when Ana suddenly shoots out of bed with almost equal terror.

She calls out to me with such sadness that I launch myself at her and pull her into my arms. "It's okay it was just a dream, you're okay now," I tell her as she trembles and clings to me.

"Do you want to tell me what woke you," I ask when she's a little more settled.

"I was all alone I didn't have you or the children, I kept searching for you but the only person I could find was Morton."

"I'm sorry you had that nightmare again but that's all it was, a nightmare. I'm never letting you go and Morton will never find you again, not ever."

"I wish the nightmares would go away, I don't like feeling alone, it's horrible being alone Christian."

"It is, but you're not alone anymore you have me and the children and all the family here for you. I promise you Ana you will never be alone again."

"I'm alone every night," sobs Ana.

"I'm here with you, every night Ana."

"You're not in my dreams and I'm sick of the fear that shallows me when Morton is there instead. I wish I saw you Christian but I don't and I'm so, I'm so,"

"What Ana?"

"I'm so mad. I'm mad at him and I'm mad at myself for letting him take me. He took away three years of my life, three years with you and with Teddy. I hate him Christian, I hate him so much and even now he's here with me invading my dreams.

"I know it's not good to dwell on that man but sometimes I really wish he was dead. Sometimes I wish I could kill him, I hate him so much. I hate him, I want to hurt him so much, he killed my mom, he took her from me, she's gone because of him."

I watch in horror as Ana gets more and more worked up, hate leaking from her. Hate, that she's worked so hard to contain, it's painful to witness the depths of her sorrow.

I try to get her to calm down but something has broken and everything is finally coming to the surface.

"I hate him, I hate him," she continues to sob and I only wish I could take all the hate away so she could let Morton go.

"I hate him too Ana, so much but I know now that we have to let that go. We can't live a happy life if we're filled with hate. Morton will get punished for what he's done, of that I'm sure but we won't be a part of it. We won't allow him to take anymore from us."

Ana listens but I can tell she's still filled with anger so I take her hand and lead her back onto the deck.

"Ana I didn't tell you earlier but I've been out on the boat a lot over the last few years. I would sail away from everyone sometimes, everyone and everything just to be by myself. I missed you so much that I'd sail into the ocean and shout out in the darkness, I screamed until I was hoarse."

"What did you scream," Ana asks softly.

"WHY, I shouted it to the heavens so often Ana. I needed to know WHY you were gone, WHY Teddy had lost his mother and WHY with everything I had I couldn't find you."

"I wish I could do that," says Ana softly.

"You can, that's why I brought you out here, we'll both do it and then maybe we can finally let this all go."

Ana looks hesitantly towards the dark ocean, she's apprehensive and I think she won't do it. Then suddenly she pierces the silence and shouts into the darkness, she let's out a cathartic roar as the sounds of the waves are diminished.

"WHY," she screams over and over as I join in, adding to the noise. We both shout out until are voices falter and fade, eventually disappearing. I hold her tightly in my arms as we both break down. When I feel her shiver I carry her back to our cabin and wrap us both in the blankets, she's so quiet that I think she's fallen asleep.

Then I hear a whisper, "Thank you Christian, I think it helped,"

"I hope so Ana, I really want you to find some peace."


	10. Chapter 10

Missed - Chapter Ten

Sarah is officially a missing person, after her family and several friends alerted the authorities to her disappearance. The police are certainly suspicious after her previous

status as a missing person, when Ana and her were confined together.

It's just another reason to add to Ana's fears as I see her terror increase daily. I watch her with the children when we are away from the house and she's on constant guard. Yesterday a guy came towards us in the park to ask for the time and she was so panicked that I had to take her home.

Olivia is so perceptive especially where her mother is concerned that she too is starting to fear going outside. I try to help her to feel more secure outside but with Ana constantly overreacting it's becoming an impossible task.

Today we're all going back on the boat and I can't wait, it seems to be the only place other than the house that Ana feels safe and I want her to relax. I think we all need to unwind and hopefully a day on the water will help.

I wake the children early and with Ana's help we're in the car, packed and ready before 9.00am. I smile to myself as I hear Olivia singing in the backseat as Teddy chats happily with Ana, for a fleeting moment I feel like we're a normal family again.

But as soon as we leave the car I sense Ana's uncertainly as we walk towards the boat and realise we still have a long way to go before normality returns.

We push us off from the dock and I steer us towards the horizon as Teddy shows Olivia around the Grace. She follows him everywhere only slightly weighed down by her life jacket, holding onto his hand as he takes her down to the cabin.

I watch Ana follow the children below deck and soon their laughter echoes beneath me and I yearn to follow it. Sadly I have to stay above deck and steer the boat on course.

After a short while they all reappear and Teddy runs over wanting to help me steer. I pass over the controls knowing he knows just what to do but I stick close to supervise.

"Daddy help," says Olivia as she runs up to me. I stoop down and pick her up then kiss her because I can't help but show my enthusiasm every time she calls me daddy.

I set her down and Teddy shows her the controls and even allows her to press a few buttons. After a while she seems to loose interest so Ana takes her to sit on the deck chairs and watch from a more comfortable position.

Eventually when Teddy's boredom threshold also weakens I suggest we drop the anchor and have some much deserved lunch.

"Can we fish later," asks Teddy as he tucks into his chicken sandwich.

"Sure," I reply, daydreaming whilst the boat gently bobs in the ocean.

After we eat Ana takes Olivia back down to the cabin for a nap and I start to prepare the fishing lines. Teddy watches me and offers to help so I pass over his little rod and allow him to bait his hook.

When Ana reappears both us men are immersed in fishing so she takes a book and rests on the deck chairs. I watch her relax and smile to myself at how content she seems today.

A lull soon settles on the Grace as the afternoon sun slowly sinks behind the clouds and peace reigns. I see Ana is falling asleep and even Teddy who loves to fish seems a little heavy-eyed. Then suddenly Ted's line jerks and he starts to holler excitedly as he tries to reel in it.

"Daddy I've got one, I've got one," he shouts and together we pull on the line.

All the excitement wakes Ana and she startles and jumps to her feet, the smile on my face quickly vanishes when I see her sudden fright.

Forgetting the fish I dash towards her and reassure her that everything is alright.

"Teddy's caught a fish," I explain softly.

"No I haven't," shouts my son indignantly and I realise too late that without my help the fish has swam away.

I walk back to him and see his little face hurt by my departure. "I'm sorry your fish got away, but there's still time and maybe we can catch another."

"I don't want another, I want that one."

"I'm sorry," I repeat but can see my son is not to be consoled.

"Why is mommy such a scaredy-cat," he exclaims loudly and immediately I feel myself getting angry.

"Mommy is very brave, braver than you will ever know," I shout and he jumps at my sudden change of tone.

"I don't like it when you shout," he says solemnly, getting up and walking towards the cabin.

"Don't wake your sister, stay up here," I tell him but he ignores me and walks down the stairs. I'm so angry now that I jump to my feet and dash towards him but before I can get to him I feel something holding me back.

"Let me go to him Christian, I think I need to explain why I'm always so jumpy and you need to calm down before you talk to him."

"No, he needs to do as I tell him. I won't have him wake Olivia with his bad mood."

"Christian I need to go to him please and besides it's time Olivia got up it's getting late."

Without another word I watch Ana descend then reappear a little later with a tired little girl with flushed cheeks.

"There you stay up here with Daddy I need to talk to Teddy for a bit." Ana explains as she deposits Olivia in my waiting arms.

Immediately my temper softens as my baby girl snuggles against me as she tries to wake herself up. Sitting in Ana's vacated chair and can't help but listen to the conversation below.

"Baby I know I've been a scaredy-cat lately but that's only because I'm still upset about what happened to me," I hear Ana explain.

I wait for Teddy to respond but I can't hear him, I'm thinking about going down to help when he finally speaks up.

"What happened," he asks softly.

"When I was taken away from you and daddy, I'm scared because I don't want them to take me away again."

"They can't daddy won't let them," says my son and I smile at him certainty.

"I know daddy will try to keep me safe just like he keeps you and Olivia safe but I can't help but be scared."

"Stop!" says Ted, so assuredly that I see just how alike we both are.

"I'm trying but it's hard sometimes."

"Then why did daddy say you were brave."

"I'm not sure, because I certainly don't feel brave but I think it's because I keep trying to overcome what happened."

"What's overcome?" asks Ted thoughtfully.

"It means that I try to beat it and move forward."

"Will you try harder," asks Teddy and suddenly I'm a little mad again at his choice of words.

"I will especially now because I don't want what happened to me to affect you or Olivia in a bad way."

I wait to hear Teddy say something and then he amazes me by his compassionate response.

"I'm sorry that a bad thing happened to you mommy."

I think I hear Ana's broken sob, then she manages a reply. "I'm sorry you lost your fish."

Then all I can hear is the ocean waves and Olivia sucking her thumb as I rock her on my knee. When they finally come back on deck they both seem a lot happier, Teddy is smiling and Ana looks strangely at peace.

When we get a spare minute alone she tells me what's changed.

"I think I'm ready now," she explains.

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to see someone, ready to get help and to finally put all this to rest."

* * *

Yesterday we celebrated Olivia's third birthday, I can't believe that my little girl is three and I've only really known her for these last six months.

Six months and in that time my whole world has changed for the better and so has Ana's and my son and daughter's. It's certainly been a tough few months and we've all had to make adjustments along the way but I wouldn't change a second of it.

I wake with a permanent smile on my face, I just can't get over how lucky I am to have my wife and daughter back with me.

Since the boat trip Ana has been seeing a therapist every week and it's amazing how much progress she's made. At first I suggested she see Flynn but Ana felt she couldn't be totally honest with someone who had such strong ties with myself. I can understand her reasons even though I rarely see Flynn much these days, not since Ana returned. I asked around and my mom suggested a therapist that works at the hospital, a woman who specialises in trauma counselling. I had Taylor look into her credentials and he found she had an exemplarily record and an excellent rapport with her patients.

Ana started seeing her almost immediately and after only a few short months she has really improved. Her fear has greatly diminished and a lot of the nightmares that plagued her have almost disappeared.

At Olivia's birthday party I found myself transfixed by my wife and daughter as I watched them happily play with Teddy and little Ava.

Ana looks so much better then the day I found her at that hospital. She's filled out a lot and although she's not quiet the weight she once was she has made a vast improvement since Canada. Her complexion has also developed and although Ana will always be a pale beauty she has lost that sickly, ghostly pallor.

My little girl has also blossomed and I'm so happy to see her face flushed with excitement and her cheeks rosy from the constant fresh air I expose her to daily.

They look the picture of health my two girls, no one would ever guess of their joint imprisonment and in Ana's case starvation that they endured.

Of course it being Olivia's first ever real birthday celebration I went all out, we had everything a little girl could wish for and a few they would never even dream of.

The whole family was present to celebrate and even Mia and Ethan got home in time for the party. Olivia received so many presents it got too much for her so half way through the party she had to have a nap. When she woke she was raring to go again and soon her and her cousin were happily running around while Teddy chased them.

When the party ended I carried a very sleepy girl to bed and I was amazed by the little smile that stayed etched on her face even in sleep. Ana was equally exhausted but she made sure to read to our son like any other night, desperate to make sure he knew he was just as special as our birthday girl.

That night I couldn't sleep I was so excited by the day, I kept running it over and over in my mind. Olivia's face when she unwrapped the dolly my mom and dad brought her. Teddy helping me set up for the day and his effort to make sure his sister had the best ever birthday, because he knew she had never had one before. Ana laughing when I kissed her lips and my mom capturing the moment with her camera. Every part was perfect and I can't wait to do it all again in six months time when Teddy turns six.


	11. Chapter 11

Missed - Chapter 11

When I wake up the next day I wake to an empty bed, I get up and look for Ana but I can't find her. I walk into the children's bedrooms looking for her but all I find are two children fast asleep.

Quietly I walk down the stairs hoping to see her in the kitchen, maybe making herself a cup of tea. But the kitchens empty and even early bird Gail had not arrived yet.

Growing concerned I dash around the house looking in every room, finally seconds away from calling my security I see her slowly descending the staircase.

"Christian there you are, I was looking for you when I found the bed empty."

"I was looking for you. You scared the hell out of me, where were you?"

"In the guest bathroom, I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to wake you if I got sick."

Immediately I walk up to Ana and sweep my had across her forehead, she's not warm but she is a little paler then usual.

"Were you sick sweetheart," I ask.

"No, I just felt really nauseas, too much party food I guess."

I'm about to tell her she should go back to bed when she suddenly dashes towards the downstairs toilet and spectacularly heaves into the toilet. I run to her side and hold back her long flowing hair as I softly rub her back.

Ana looks white as a sheet when she's finished, I help her to a chair and she sinks down then lays her head against the wall.

"Baby, lets get you back to bed."

"No, what if I need to throw up again. It's safer if I stay here near the toilet."

I stroke her hair and offer her a glass of water but she won't take it because she says she's still feeling pretty sick. I sit with her for a while and eventually manage to carry her back to our bedroom.

"Here, I've laid a bucket by the bed in case you get sick again."

She nods her head but her eyes are closed and soon she's fast asleep. I feel her forehead again but I feel no fever so I sit and watch her for a while.

Before long I start to hear the children waking so reluctantly I leave Ana and go to check on them.

I'm holding Olivia's little hand as we walk down the stairs, Teddy is ahead and busy telling me all about his dream last night.

"Morning," says Gail as we enter her kitchen.

"Morning," I reply with a small smile as the children sit down and await their breakfast.

"Where's Ana?"

"Still sleeping, I'm afraid she isn't feeling too well today."

"Oh poor thing, do you want me to bring her anything."

"No, well not yet anyway, probably best to just let her sleep."

Gail nods understandably them starts to make the children some pancakes. I watch them eat and as much as I enjoy seeing the kids tuck into their food I can't help but worry about Ana.

After breakfast I settle the kids in the family room and allow them to watch the TV so I can go back upstairs to check on Ana.

When I enter our bedroom I hear the toilet flushing and on further investigation I find Ana curled up on the bathroom floor.

"Are you okay,"

She opens her eyes and looks in my direction, then slowly shakes her head.

"I think we should call a doctor baby, you really don't look good."

"Thanks," she replies crossly.

"I mean it Ana, I'm really worried."

"I'll be fine Christian I just need you to help me get back to bed."

Reluctantly I help Ana back to bed then kiss her on her forehead. "Do you want anything," I ask.

"No, I just want to sleep."

"Okay baby you sleep but if you're no better in a few hours I'm calling a doctor."

"Fine," says Ana weakly and before long she's once again asleep.

For the rest of the day Ana stays in bed and though I tried I could only manage to get her to take some water and nothing else. Worried about her not eating especially when Ana can barely afford not too I call my Mom.

"Mom Ana's been really sick today and she wont eat," I explain.

"Does she have a fever?"

"No, but she looks terrible and I'm scared that she's not eating."

"Is she drinking?"

"Water."

"That's good Christian just keep an eye on her and make sure she's hydrated. If she's no better tomorrow I'll stop by, I promise."

"Okay, Thanks Mom."

Comforted somewhat by my mothers promise I go back to the kids and together we have a very subdued day, a vast contrast from yesterdays excitement.

All day I feel as though something is missing until I slip beneath our sheets and Ana rests up against me. Hopefully she'll be better tomorrow, I've missed my wife today.

When I wake the next morning I hear Ana heaving in the bathroom, I dash out of bed and reach for the door handle. I'm shocked when I realise it's locked so I call out to Ana in the hope she will let me in.

"Why is this door locked Ana?"

At first there no response and then a muffled reply leaves me banging on the door.

"Go away Christian, you don't need to see me like this again. I'm just a little sick that's all."

"That's all," I shout back sarcastically.

"Ana if you don't open this door immediately I'm going to break it down."

I wait for her response but it doesn't come, then I hear the door click so I push it hard and it swings open. What I find inside scares the shit out of me, Ana is hunched up on the floor and silently crying.

"Ana, please you have to see a doctor, you're so pale baby."

Reluctantly Ana nods her head so I run for the phone and make the call to Ana's physician. A little later I'm sitting with Ana at the doctors waiting to be called. My leg is bouncing nervously as we wait while I hold tight to Ana's tiny hand.

"Mrs Ana Grey," a woman inquires and I jump up from my seat.

Together we walk to the room she directs us towards and slowly enter. Ana's doctor is a family friend of my mothers and I've known her for years but even familiarity doesn't prevent my fear as I sit down with Ana. I listen as Ana explains the nausea and sickness to the doctor and a few other symptoms she's kept hidden from me.

Dr. Peters asks Ana some questions then performs a routine examination.

"I have my suspicions Ana but first I'd like a urine sample," she requests as she hold up a plastic cup. "The toilets are across the hall, no hurry."

Ana takes the cup after making me promise to stay where I am and disappears out the door. She returns shortly and I watch as Dr. Peters dips a small paper strip into the cup. She waits a few seconds then smiles, "Well Ana I appears that you're pregnant."

I look at Ana and she looks back at me, both of us a little stunned by this sudden development.

"Are you sure," Ana asks softly.

"Positive, or course a blood test would be more accurate but based on your symptoms I'd say it's pretty certain."

"But we're using contraception," I say with some confidence.

"Mr Grey, Christian, I'm sure even you know that contraception is never completely full proof and sometimes it can fail."

"But Ana's not well enough to have a baby, she was only released from the hospital a few months ago."

"Yes I can see from my records that Ana has been suffering from malnutrition but just the fact that she is pregnant shows that her body has recovered sufficiently. Certainly Ana will need some extra support during her pregnancy but I'm certain the outcome will be a positive one."

"You're certain well that's reassuring," I snap.

"Christian please calm down," says Ana stroking my hand.

"I'm sorry Ana I'm just worried, I don't think this is the right time for you to be pregnant."

"Well I am, right time or not and I need you to help me not make this harder for me."

"You're right, I'm sorry I'm just scared," I tell Ana softly. "Me too."

I pull my chair closer to Ana's and pull her hand to my lips, I kiss her knuckles then lay her hand in my own.

Together we listen to Dr. Peters advice and arrange to set up an appointment with Ana's gynaecologist Dr. Greene as soon as possible.

Finally when we leave it all hits me and in spite of my fear for Ana I can't stop smiling.

"A baby," I say softy to Ana.

"A baby," she repeats back and we both smile happily.

A few days later we have visited Dr. Greene and she confirmed that Ana is indeed pregnant. From her assessment Ana's about four or five weeks along and she also suggested a few things Ana can do to prevent the severe sickness she has been having.

Since then Ana has made some progress but her sickness is still present and I'm concerned because Ana has started to loose weight again.

I try not to be too demanding but I panic when Ana fails to eat her meals and day by day I see her small frame diminish.

Today when I come home from work I find Gail playing with the children, she explains that Ana's not been well again and is upstairs sleeping.

When I open our bedroom door I find my wife fast asleep and immediately I notice her strange pallor. She looks like she's dying not pregnant with our third child, I immediately call her doctor. Equally concerned Dr. Greene suggests I bring her to the hospital so she can assess her and make sure everything is okay.

I hang up and walk to the side of the bed and gently shake Ana's shoulders. "Ana I need you to wake up baby."

She stirs but doesn't wake so I shake her again a little harder. "Go away," she mutters.

"Ana you need to wake up, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No, I'm fine," she slurs which fails to reassure me.

Without further explanation I pull back the bed covers and scoop Ana up into my arms. She struggles at first but then sinks against me as I carry her towards the door.

"Goodness what's wrong," asks Gail as she sees me descend the staircase.

"I'm taking Ana to the hospital, can you please stay with the children and make sure they don't see us leave."

"Of course Mr Grey I just hope everything is alright," says Gail as she strokes Ana's hair off her face. "Me too."

Careful to avoid the kids I carry Ana outside and into a waiting car as Taylor jumps into the drivers seat. I hold Ana on my lap all the way to the hospital and she never truly wakes up. She's really floppy and her completion looks almost grey. Something is really wrong with her and I'm starting to panic.

When we arrive Taylor helps me inside with Ana and then manages to get Dr. Greene to meet us at reception. I notice Dr. Greene's serious expression when she sees us and in seconds she has Ana admitted to the emergency ward.

"What's that," asks Ana when she finally wakes and notices the needle inserted in her hand.

"It's there to help, it's giving you back the fluid you've lost. Ana you were really dehydrated, I couldn't wake you."

Ana pulls her arm closer and makes to pull the tubing from her hand. In a flash I grab her arm and pull it away from her other hand.

"Ana don't, leave it," I order as she continues to struggle. She stares at me defiantly then glances around at her surroundings.

"I want to go home, I don't want to stay here," she stubbornly states. Then I watch as she pulls herself upright and tries to get out of the bed.

"Ana stop, you're going to hurt yourself."

I push her back onto the bed but she's not herself and keeps batting my arms away as I try to hold her.

Finally a nurse pulls back the curtain and finds me struggling with Ana, she calls for another nurse to help then with speed injects something into Ana's IV.

I watch as Ana's slumps forward and both me and the two nurses help to lie her back down on the bed.

"What did you give her," I ask.

"A mild sedative, I assure you it's quite safe for the foetus. We just needed Mrs Grey to calm down."

"What's wrong with her, she's never acted like this before."

"The dehydration is causing some confusion but as soon as she's a little more hydrated she'll be back to normal, I promise."

"I hope so. I didn't like having to restrain her," I say then frown a little at the irony of my words.

"Give her a few hours and I'm sure she'll feel a million times better. Now if you'll excuse me."

I watch as both nurses leave then pull the curtain back to provide Ana with at a little privacy.

I look back at Ana, she looks completely washed out and exhausted. God I hope she isn't going to be like this for the length of the pregnancy. I knew this was all going to be too much for her poor body and I hate to see her back to looking so ill.

A little later Dr. Greene returns to check on Ana and explains that they have a private room ready for her in another part of the hospital.

As we wait for the orderlies to arrive I ask the doctor if anything new has developed from Ana's test results.

"Everything looks good Mr Grey and it's clear now that the sickness is what caused Ana's dehydration. I'm going to prescribe some medication to help with the nausea and with luck Ana can be discharged sometime tomorrow."

"Good, that's good," I say nodding my head.

I notice Dr. Greene staring at me so I look up and she smiles. "Mr Grey, Ana is going to be just fine. I understand it's upsetting but severe nausea in pregnancy is not that uncommon and it passes, believe me."

I nod again then look over at my wife, I hope it will pass soon. Ana can't afford to lose anymore weight and I can't watch it happen again.

Thankfully after two nights in the hospital Ana is discharged and I can start feeding her up again. The medication is working and happily the nausea and sickness are gone. I only wish Dr. Greene had prescribed the pills sooner and maybe prevented Ana from being hospitalised in the first place.

We told the children that Ana was visiting a friend to explain her absence as neither of us wanted the children to see Ana in the hospital again. For now we're keeping the pregnancy just between us and the few family members who visited Ana at the hospital. We aren't going to tell the children until Ana's starts to show, as they're still adjusting to everything else and we don't want to add something new just yet.

As we pull up to the house I see my two little loves jumping up and down excitedly and Ray trying to keep them from dashing at the car.

Ana jumps out and runs towards them, she catches them in her arms and together they all fall into a happy heap on the ground.

I race to join them and with Rays help we manage to pull everyone back on their feet and steer them to the house.

"Have they been good," I ask as we walk inside the main entrance.

"Perfect," says Ray indulgently and I smile as I catch Teddy looking quite triumphant.

I'm so glad Ray decided to live with us even after we found Ana and Olivia. At first I was afraid he would want to leave once he saw Teddy and I had our family back. Both Ana and Teddy were adamant he stay put and after all those lost years without his daughter Ray was very happy to stay too.

He loves the kids and they keep him active and when it all gets too much for him he takes off for a fishing trip, where I'm sure he enjoys the silence.

"Poppy look," says Olivia pointing happily at her mother.

"I see sweetheart isn't it great to have mommy home," Ray answers with a smile.

I watch him wink at Ana and she smiles back, poor Ray has missed her almost as much as the children. Once we reach the family room the children want to know if Ana has brought them anything from her trip. I guess I'm to blame for their expectations because I always bring home presents whenever I go on business trips.

Ana surprises me by pulling out two parcels from her handbag and passing them to each child. I look at the presents suspiciously then smile when Ana whispers to me and tells me she got them at the hospital gift shop.

That's my Ana always thinking of the children and doing her best to give them something special, especially after they have been without her. I wonder briefly where she found the opportunity to visit the gift shop, she certainly wasn't up to it when she first arrived. Maybe she asked Sawyer to get them, I hope so anyway because she really wasn't up to go herself.

We watch the kids open their gifts and then we all go outside to play in the garden. When Gail calls us in for dinner we all troop back inside and I make sure the kids wash their hands before we eat. Gail's made Ana favourite in honour of her homecoming and we all tuck in heartily. I'm glad to see my wife enjoying her food again and I can't wait to see her back to a normal weight.

Later when the children are finally tucked up in their beds and dreaming I walk into our bedroom and see Ana pulling back the covers on the bed.

"I know it's a bit early but I'm exhausted, don't feel like you have to join me."

"But I want to join you, I can't wait," I tell her coyly.

"Don't be getting any ideas Mr Grey, I intend to be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow."

"And I intend to be there with you when you do."

Coming back from the bathroom I slip beneath the sheets and reach my hand towards Ana.

"Asleep yet?" I ask.

"Almost but something keeps poking me."

"I could poke you with something else if you'd like."

"Tempting but for tonight would you take a rain check."

"I guess, but I need you to do something for me first."

"Christian," says Ana somewhat annoyed.

"Just one kiss and I'll let you sleep, one kiss I promise."

"Fine one kiss," says Ana then moves around to face me.

We move in and kiss one another softy, I stroke Ana's hair then pull her into my arms. Resting her head across my chest I rub my hand across her back soothingly.

"I'm so glad you're home sweetheart, I missed you."

I wait for a response but all I receive is one word from Ana before she falls fast asleep in my arms.


	12. Chapter 12

Missed - Chapter 12

Things have been going well since I brought Ana home from the hospital. Her sickness has gone and she's really gained some weight in the last few months.

When she reached around four months it became obvious that Ana's body was changing, so we finally decided to tell the children about their new sibling.

Unfortunately Olivia failed to fully understand and Teddy immediately got angry by the happy news. I tried to include him in some of the decisions regarding the baby but sadly he could not be consoled.

Since then Teddy has been particularly difficult and not himself, he's subdued but prone to tantrums when things go awry. I've been so concerned I asked my Mom for advice and even talked with Flynn about his sudden moods.

Ana has been left to deal with him since I've been swapped with work. It's so crazy at home that I've started dreading walking inside the front door because I never know what I'm going to find.

The other day I arrived home unusually early to find the house in complete chaos. Teddy was screaming blue murder, Olivia was sobbing inconsolably and Ana was slumped over, holding her head in her hands.

I was so cross that Teddy had upset his mother that I started screaming too. I watched as his temper dissipated almost immediately, then I sent him up to bed. I picked up Olivia and she calmed a little but I was so angry at my son that she couldn't completely relax in my arms. Ana finally ended our daughters tears and then I made her sit down and put her feet up.

It turns out that while Gail was out shopping and Ray was away on one of his fishing trips, Teddy choose that moment to take his frustrations out on his little sister. He pushed her so forcefully that she fell and bumped her head and when Ana called him on it he threw the worlds biggest tantrum.

I had to take a lot of calming breaths before I entered his bedroom that day. When I finally stepped inside I found him equally spent and exhausted. He was curled up on his bed, thinking he was asleep I was about to leave when I heard a sad whisper.

"Do you want me to go," he asked softly.

"What?" I answered as I sat down on his bed and ruffled his hair affectionately.

"You don't need me now, I'm in the way."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and certainly couldn't understand where all this was coming from.

"Teddy, you're our son. Our baby boy, I couldn't bare to live without you."

"You'll have another baby soon, maybe another boy. You won't want me then."

"I would want you if we had a thousand babies, you mean the world to me and mommy."

"Really,"

"Really, I don't understand why you would ever think that. You welcomed Olivia into the family and you're the best big brother and you know we love you both equally. Why would you think we could ever stop loving you."

"I think I was scared because a boy at school told me when a new baby comes along you get forgotten about."

"But when Olivia came along you weren't forgotten about," I try to explain.

"Olivia wasn't a baby when she came along so I thought the boy at school could be telling the truth."

"I promise we would never forget about you or your sister, we love you both so much and when the baby comes along we'll love him or her just the same. I know we will be a bit more busy when the baby first comes. But you can be involved and just as busy and I know how helpful you'll be because you have been so good with Olivia."

"Will the baby like me," asks Teddy uncertainly.

"Definitely, the baby will love you just like your sister does."

"She doesn't love me anymore, I made her cry today."

"You did and you need to apologise to her, but in spite of that I know she still loves you."

"I love her too and I'm sorry I made her cry. I made mommy sad too, I didn't mean to be naughty."

"I know you didn't son, how about we go back downstairs and you can tell them that you're sorry."

Teddy nods bravely then jumps from the bed and together we go down to the girls. Teddy cried when he said sorry and I felt bad for him but he needed to make amends. Thankfully Olivia accepted his apology and I couldn't hide my smile when she used her sleeve to wipe away his tears. My daughter had the biggest heart just like Ana's.

Since all the drama Teddy has been coping a lot better with the prospect of a new sibling. A week ago we found out we were going to have another boy and I was worried about how Teddy would take the news. He blew me away with his enthusiasm, stating quite clearly that he had wished for a brother because he doesn't have one.

Olivia was less impressed and made us all laugh when she declared dramatically that she wanted a sissy.

I think out of our two children Olivia may find it harder to adjust because it maybe difficult for her to share Ana with the baby.

I can't wait to have another baby in the house but I have to admit that like Olivia I was a little disappointed that the baby wasn't going to be a girl. I'm not unsatisfied in any way I was just hoping I would get to do all the things I missed out on with Olivia. I wanted to pick out the pink baby clothes and see the differences between having a baby boy verses a baby girl. I wanted every moment I missed to be replayed but I realise those moments are gone, lost forever and forcing my new child into that role isn't fair.

We've have had a lot of fun picking out names and we all seem to have our favourites. I know Ana is partial to Sam but I think the name is to small for a future Mr Grey. I'd like to include my fathers name somewhere but Teddy laughed when I suggested it because he thought I wanted to call the baby Grandpa.

Teddy loves reading 'Horrid Henry' books at the moment and so is naturally drawn to name the Henry. Olivia keeps us entertained by coming up with a new name everyday, the most bizarre names I have ever heard of. She makes them up and each one gets stranger and stranger, I hate to think what my daughter will name her own children one day. Still undecided we have settled on baby Grey for the moment and it seems to suit us until he makes his appearance. Only two months to go now, I can't wait.

 **Sorry for the long delay and short chapter but I lost the original and had to piece it together from an old FanFiction entry.**


	13. Chapter 13

Missed - Chapter 13

I quickly reach for my phone, as it rings in the middle of the night. Looking at the number I don't recognise it and when I hear the unfamiliar voice on the other line I instantly think it's a wrong number.

"Hello is that Mr Grey," the caller asks uncertainly.

"Speaking," I whisper trying not to disturb Ana, who's laying beside me.

"I'm not sure if you remember me but I was hired by Jason Taylor to look into the whereabouts of a Stephen Morton."

"Yes I remember, have you found him."

"I received a call a few weeks back from a contact in Providence, he informed me about a body washing up along the coast. My team have been looking into it and we feel confident now on the identity of the deceased."

"Who was it?" I ask with some trepidation.

"Preliminary tests have confirmed that the body is that of Stephen James Morton. His prints and DNA are on file due to an earlier arrest and with that information it was pretty conclusive that we had our man."

"He's dead," I stutter.

"Yes sir," he answers excitedly.

"What was the cause of death?"

"From what the coroner can establish it looks like a blunt force trauma to the head. His body was dumped in the ocean and according to the coroner he's been floating there for quite a few months."

"Do the police need to make a formal identification," I question, afraid they will ask Ana to make the identification.

"The police have viewed the body and due to the strong evidence found from his DNA a formal identification won't be necessary."

"Good," I sigh in relief.

"So what will happen now," I ask.

"One man down, one to go," he answers darkly.

"What about Morton."

"His remains will be cremated once all the evidence has been recorded. The police have opened a case on his murder but with his death the murder case of Carla Adams looks unsolved."

"Yes," I answer softly as I realise Morton will never be charged for Carla's murder. He will never pay for his crimes and Ana will never get to see him behind bars where he belonged. His death has abruptly and unequivocally ended any retribution we could have hoped to get and right now I almost feel cheated that someone else got to kill that bastard.

I organise some of my staff to travel to Providence to verify everything but I won't go with them so close to Ana's due date.

After the calls I go back to bed noticing the sun peeking through the blinds and realising my family will soon be awake. I lay on the bed and look over at my still sleeping wife. She's so happy right now and I hold the cards to crash everything around her. I struggle knowing that she needs to be told of Morton's death but also I'm certain that the news will crush her.

Finally after a lot of thought I decide not to tell her until after the baby is born and she is fully recovered from the birth. I hate keeping this from her but I'm so scared of her reaction to the news and for her sake and our baby's I'm going to keep quiet.

Its been a few days now since the detective called and Ana is still unaware that Stephen Morton is dead. Taylor and Ryan are still in Providence and even Gail is unaware about exactly why they left for Rhode Island.

I myself have only told Ray and select staff members about everything, hoping the less people that know the chance there is of Ana finding out.

It's been so difficult not telling her such important news and I know she's starting to notice that something isn't quite right with me.

"What is wrong with you," Ana suddenly snaps pulling me from my reverie.

"Nothing," I repeat like I have often over the last few days.

"Christian I know you and it's certainly not nothing, you've been detached for days. You sent Jason and Ryan away and you won't say where there are, I don't even think Gail knows where her husband is."

"Look it's just business and I've told you that over and over. I don't know what else I can say," I snap back, being unnecessarily harsh to my loving wife.

Ana stares at me defiantly then sweeps away to another room leaving me to stew. I really don't know how much longer I can keep her in the dark. Ana's always been unusually perceptive, especially where I'm concerned.

"Daddy look," shouts Olivia as she suddenly thrusts her latest piece of artwork in my face. I look at the scene she's created and even in my quandary I can't help but smile at the family she's painted.

"Is that me?" I ask pointing to the largest figure in the landscape. My daughter nods her head and then points at another figure with a particularly enormous stomach.

"That's mommy and Henry," she states with clear authority. I nod my head as I marvel at how Teddy has now convinced Olivia to also call the baby Henry.

"Where do you think we should hang it up. I think it might be our first family picture with everyone represented, what do you think."

I watch as Olivia thinks for a moment and then decide that she wants to hang it on my office wall. Together we walk hand in hand to the office and on opening the door we're both dazzled by all the pictures covering the walls.

Before I was reunited with my family it was here that I thought the most about them. I wrote the letters to Olivia at my desk and I hung the pictures I found in the abandoned house on the walls.

Since then Olivia has helped to completely cover the walls with her artwork and I love to look at everyone when I'm working and can't be with my family. Certainly Teddy has helped to cover the walls but by far Olivia's outnumber his pieces, due to the pleasure she gets from her drawing and painting.

I pin the paper to the wall and smile at my daughter as she bounces happily beside me.

"Dinner," shouts Gail suddenly from the kitchen and I jump up startled. I walk with Olivia to the dining room and try to relax a little before I'm confronted by Ana. I can't be so jumpy around my wife, she's already worried that something is wrong.

We eat together in companionable silence with Ana slipping furtive gazes in my direction throughout the meal. Ray keeps the children entertained by chatter while I try my hardest to ignore Ana's constant glances.

After dinner I help the children get ready for bed but I'm prevented from finishing my task by a phone call. Leaving Ana to finish the job without me I decide to take the call in my office where I can enjoy some privacy.

It's Taylor and we talk for a while about his assessment of the formal identification of Morton. He is confident and in agreement with the police that Morton is indeed dead and presently on a slab at the Providence county morgue. We discuss what to do next and plan his return to Seattle now that everything has been confirmed. When I finally hang up I walk from my study with confidence that Morton is truly no longer a threat. I'm just turning the corner when I spot Ana's pale face and in an instant I know that she knows. She's visibly shaking as I dash towards her, I catch her in my arms as she slowly sinks to the ground.

I call her name repeatedly as I lay her on the floor but she only manages a whisper before she loses consciousness.

"He's gone," is all I can make out before I'm shouting at the top of my voice for some help.

In riding in the back of my car holding tight to Ana as Sawyer speeds along the highway. I managed to wake her at the house but she didn't look good so I phoned her doctor and she suggested we come to the hospital to make sure everything is okay.

I'm watching her like a hawk but so far she's not said much, I think she's in shock. She's still shaking in my arms and the colour has yet to return to her face. I pull her closer to me and wrap the blanket I took from home tighter around her.

When we finally pull up beside a side entrance to the emergency room I leap from the car and pull Ana towards me. She makes no movement to stand on her own so I pick her up and carry her inside.

Dr. Greene is waiting for us and motions me to follow her into a small private room adjacent to the ER. I place Ana on the bed and watch as the doctor starts to examine her. I don't realise at first but I've starting pacing, I'm so worried about Ana and nervous I can't seem to stay still.

"Her blood pressure is high," notes the doctor as she writes something on a chart.

"Is it serious," I bark back causing the doctor to flinch.

"Not yet but it needs monitoring. Mrs Grey are you cold, you're shivering," she asks softly.

When Ana fails to respond I explain that my wife had a big shock, she collapsed and has not responded since.

"How long was she unconscious,"

"Not long about a minute, but she's said nothing since."

I watch as the doctor shines a light in Ana's hazy blue eyes, then gently shake her shoulder.

"Mrs Grey, Ana, do you know where you are?"

Nothing comes out of Ana's mouth and again I start to panic. I move closer to her face but she doesn't seem to see me. I pick up her hand and gently kiss it but she doesn't seem to feel me either.

I call her name a few times but she just stares beyond me, her vision fixed on the wall or perhaps fixed on nothing.

The doctor watches my attempts then pulls out a blanket from a cupboard beside the bed. She wraps it around Ana then motions for me to follow her to the far end of the room.

"I'm going to admit your wife," she explains. "I'm concerned about how unresponsive she is and her blood pressure needs to be observed."

I nod by head then look back towards Ana, she's still staring at the wall apparently unaware that we are even here.

"Look Mr Grey, I really need to know what's caused this change in your wife. As her doctor I need to be aware of anything that is harming my patient."

"She found out something that I was hoping to keep from her until after the baby is born," I explain.

"What?" she inquires.

I sigh then look back towards Ana, I pause then elaborate on what has caused this great change in my wife. I keep it simple and only tell the doctor what she needs to know to help Ana. Thankfully as Ana's doctor she is already aware of Ana's kidnapping so I don't have to go into too many details.

When I've finished she leaves to fill out the paperwork to admit Ana. I walk back towards my wife and pull on her hand again.

"I love you," I whisper sadly.

"Everything's going to be alright sweetheart, I promise."

I sit with Ana all night and watch the sunrise from her window. She sleeps on and off all night but in those hours when she's awake she never utters a word.

I called home late last night to check that the children were okay, I also called my mom for some support. She's coming to the hospital as soon as she's able, I hope she can manage to get Ana to speak.

When I return to Ana's room after my phone call, I'm shocked to hear Ana's sweet voice. Dashing towards the bed my hopes and momentarily dashed when I realise she's only talking in her sleep. I stand motionless and listen to her lost voice then step back when her words suddenly cause alarm.

"Why, why, why," she repeats over and over at first. Then she starts to call my name but what comes next completely floors me.

"Why did you do it Christian, we were happy, we were a family again. Why did you do it, why."

I can't believe what I'm hearing, what does Ana think I've done. I watch as Ana's body starts to shake and her pain quickly becomes my pain. I reach out and gently shake her shoulder, needing to end her torment once and for all.

After several shakes she stirs then flashes her beautiful blue eyes in my direction. With care I reach for her hands and hold them both in my own, trying by best to end her distress.

"Ana, you were talking in your sleep. What did I do baby, what do you think that I did."

I pause and watch her face cloud over, then her eyes make a sweep on the room.

I speak softly and gently and squeeze her hands to help her return to me. A tear slowly falls down her cheek which I wipe away with a kiss. When more follow I kiss each one away then pull her into my arms. I hear her sobs then feel the wetness soaking into my shirt.

"Was it you," she sobs.

"Me, what Ana, I don't understand."

"Did you break your promise."

It takes me a moment to remember the promise, then suddenly realisation dawns and I finally understand what's upset Ana so completely.

"You think it was me, you think I killed Morton."

"Did you," she asks pulling away from me.

I made you a promise Ana and I kept that promise. I had no hand in his death, believe me if I'd found him he would be in a prison cell now, paying for his crimes.

Ana looks deeply into my eyes, almost looking for the lie that isn't there. I must pass her test because she moves back into my arms and sighs.

I hold her tightly and sigh with relief at the possibility that Ana is going to be okay. Was the catatonia caused by her belief that I'd killed that bastard. I thought it was the shock of knowing he was dead but maybe not. Sweet Ana, his death hadn't hurt her only the thought that I had sacrificed our family and broken my promise.


	14. Chapter 14

Missed - Chapter 14

Ana still hasn't said a lot but since she discovered I wasn't responsible for Morton's death her blood pressure has gone down. As for the likelihood of Ana returning home it's not looking too good at the moment. The shock from learning of Morton's death is still deep rooted and with the due date looming the doctor wants to keep her at the hospital just to be safe.

My parents and Ray have all been to visit as well as Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan. So far I haven't brought the children to see Ana, fearing it might upset them to see their mother so changed at present.

Since Ana's admittance I've spent my days dividing my time between the hospital and home and hoping that Roz can handle the company on her own for now.

Gail's been such a help with the children and although I know they miss Ana the children have been behaving impeccably. I think they can feel the tension in the house and are trying to help me by being so good.

Then just the other day Olivia asked me why I was so sad when she found me brooding in my study, I told her I missed Ana and she started to cry. It hurt so much to see by little girl in tears that I held her tight in my arms until she calmed down. As I rocked her I realised how selfish I was being, thinking I was the only person affected by Ana's absence. Since then I have tried to be more cheerful around the children, and tried my best to only show my very best side.

I'm a bit late when I reach Ana's door this morning as Teddy got cross and wouldn't let me leave. Finally getting him to calm down I left him playing with Ray and Olivia. I hated to leave him but something was practically pulling me to Ana, as if I needed to be with her today.

Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile across my face I open her door and step inside. Her bed is empty as I sweep my eyes across the room, I check the bathroom but she's not there either. I step out into the hall in search of someone to ask about my wife. I'm just walking towards the reception when a woman in pale blue scrubs runs towards me.

"Mr Grey you're finally here, we've been trying to contact you," she says nervously.

"What's wrong," I bark back.

"Your wife's in labour, she was just taken to the delivery room,"

"The delivery room, where's is that," I exclaim.

The woman guilds me across a series of corridors, then leads me into a bright sterile room filled with Ana's terrified cries. I run towards Ana and grab hold of her tightly, she looks up and whimpers in pain.

"What's happening," I call out to Dr. Greene, who's squatting between Ana's legs.

"Well your baby is crowning," she explains with distain.

I reach for Ana's hand in a daze and feel the instant pressure as Ana squeezes it tight.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner," I try to explain as Ana shouts out that she needs to push.

"Not yet Ana, just hold on for a little longer if you can," says the doctor.

Ana's grip only worsens as she struggles to keep from pushing.

"I have to push, I need to push," she shouts but it stopped from finishing her sentence as her words are swallowed up by her screams.

Panic overwhelms me as I look from Ana to the doctor and back again. My wife's panting hard, her eyes screwed up tightly and her forehead damp with sweat.

"You're doing so well baby, so well," I repeat fearfully.

"Okay Ana on the next contraction I want you to push,"

Ana nods but is in too much pain to properly respond. I hold her up a little and help her to brace herself against me. She moans and calls out for me as she starts with another contraction.

"Push now, push Ana," encourages the doctor and I watch in amazement as my strong wife complies.

With effort I watch as Ana pushes out our sons head, then pause to catch her breath.

"That's it honey, you're almost there. One more contraction and your baby will be here."

Ana lays exhausted with our son in-between two worlds. I stroke her brow and tuck the damp hairs away from her face.

"You're incredible," I tell her as she suddenly starts to pant again.

With one final push I observe our baby boy make his entrance. He's picked up and brought forward into Ana's waiting arms and together we inspect the newest member of the family Grey.

"He's beautiful just like his mother," I say with certainty.

"He's handsome just like his father," says Ana weakly.

I smile and gently kiss her lips then whisper my thanks in her ear. I'm so full of gratitude for what Ana has achieved, I'm in awe of her strength and courage.

Later when he's been weighed and measured he's handed back to us swaddled in a blue blanket.

"Look at that Ana, I think were going to have another with your beautiful hair. Are his eyes blue too, I hope so," I remark as I stroke our sons soft curls.

"All babies have blue eyes in the beginning, maybe he'll have eyes like yours."

"No, he will have blue eyes like his mothers. Beautiful blue eyes and dark chestnut locks."

I smile at the picture in my head of my baby boy looking like Ana, then suddenly a thought crosses my mind.

"So what's he going to be a Henry, a Sam, a Carrick or something else."

Ana smiles then pulls back his blanket a little to gaze at his restful face.

"I think he's a Henry and for those two little ones back home he sure as hell better be," laughs Ana.

"You're sure, you can use Sam if you'd rather. You did all the hard work, that means you get the final say."

"It's Henry I'm sure, why he even looks like a Henry don't you think?"

I pull the blanket back a little and nod my head in agreement.

"I would like to pick the middle name though," says Ana.

"Henry Sam?" I ask thoughtfully thinking the two names don't quite work together.

"Henry Christian Grey," says Ana proudly.

"No, you can't use my name," I demand with mock severity.

"But I want to use your name, please Christian. I want to name him for his father, I've wanted to do it since I knew of his existence."

I can see how sincere my wife is and after what's she's done for me I know I can't refuse her. I nod my head in agreement then look back at my son "Henry Christian Grey welcome to the world."


End file.
